So lately I've been turned on to the Men's Rights Movement thanks to a blog that I thought I bookmarked but unfortunately didn't...*sad face*. Anyway The Men's Rights Movement is a counter movement to The 2nd Wave Feminist Movement. I'd like to be preamble this by saying that I didn't know much about Feminism, only that whenever it was brought up I ended up feeling like I just got yelled out for having a penis.
I won't deny that women have had it tough and there are many sexist things I can think of that hold women back, BUT I also won't deny that men have been shortchanged a lot as well, especially to the point of emasculation. I don't usually talk about serious topics here and I debated on where exactly I should make this post, either posting this here or on my Christian Blog, and I might just do two posts, one here and one that tackles this issue from a Christian perspective. We'll see. Anyways in my research within The MRM and Feminist Movement I've discovered a few things that I'd like to address so here we go;
So lately I've been watching various videos on Youtube, specifically GirlWritesWhat, which has recently become one of the most influential channels in recent memory next to Acts17, James White, and many others. Through GirlWritesWhat I've come in contact with The MRM and a few other people like ManWoman & Myth and Reginald Plum and so on. I won't elaborate on all of that since you can go to the links and check them out yourself BUT one of the many debates between men and women has been the concept of the Friendzone. This is relevant because I've clashed with a particular person (who I will reference again) about the Friendzone. If you're not familiar with The Friendzone, here's a summary;
Basically, The Friendzone occurs when a guy who attempts to engage a woman in a romantic relationship by displaying his qualities as an ideal mate is subjected to platonic friendship. Having had taken up residence there MANY times, I know it all too well. This particular person I clashed with on The Friendzone, let's call her "R", contested the Friendzone with this;
Insisting that The Friendzone is bullsh*t because Men in The Friendzone feel entitled to sex after attempting to EARN it by showing the female they desire how good they are as a mate. Having been in the Friendzone, I know personally that sex wasn't the end all be all. I legitimately wanted a relationship. Unfortunately if you searched my Livejournal you'd find NOTHING but rambling nonsense over a girl I was CRAZY about, who ODDLY ENOUGH I didn't think of sexually. We'll call this girl "L". I had a deep sense of concern for "L"'s well being, how she was doing and would be willing to walk over hot coals for her if it meant I could simply hold her hand. However according to "R", all of that was simply just to get in her pants. Seeing as how I'm a Christian and don't approve of sex before marriage if I did get in any woman's pants then my intention is to stay there. Back on topic, I knew what "R" was saying wasn't the case at all but had a problem articulating it and couldn't explain why UNTIL I SAW;
So from this video I KNEW I had to watch more and from this video I got into The MRM. Anyway, fast forwarding and keep in mind that all of this began SUNDAY (Yeah @_@), I found a video that unnerved me to my core.
So if you didn't watch the video, a woman cut off her husband's penis and threw it in the garbage disposal, only because her husband filed for divorce. What disturbs me however is that the women in the audience as well as Sharon Osbourne (who I used to like until I saw this) and a few others are LAUGHING. What makes this worse is that Sarah Gilbert (who is a Lesbian) points out that none of them would be laughing if a woman had her breasts cut off, to which Sharon replies "That's different."....
Now I'm not going to sit here and play the role of offended victim. I enjoy morbid humor as much as the next person, my fictionalized autobiography if riddled with rape humor and I laugh at the occasional anal rape joke, my personal favorite being of "The Boondocks" Booty Warrior, but I digress. I laugh heartily at fictionalized violence as a view it as slapstick humor to the point of Bugs Bunny proportions. But something I haven't done is laughed at cases of REAL LIFE rape and violence. I don't think there is anything funny about rape or violence IN REAL LIFE. I find blatant morbid humor funny, that's just me and I know a lot of people would disagree with me and aren't into that and to each their own. But I know people personally who suffer from domestic violence and I find nothing funny about that, however at the same time I can laugh at Judge Grady in GTA 4 ordering one of his plaintiffs to smack his wife. One involves real people, the other does not. Hence why I can play "Goldeneye" and get in massive shoot outs with guards and yet have no desire to kill anyone in real life. I cannot stress this more.
The point is, Sarah Gilbert is 100% correct! If a man had cut a woman's breast off or worse cut her clitoris off and a group of men laughed about it, women would be declaring sexism and those men would suffer public rebuke and potentially lose their jobs. Even if the woman had it coming (which I don't believe anything can justify being physically mutilated). And that's something that is missing from this story, the reason why this woman did it was only revealed as because her husband filed for divorce. With our divorce crazy society that's NOT the worse thing that can happen. Furthermore all she'd have to do is get a lawyer and gouge his wallet. But instead she decides to mutilate this man. Now if had been beating her or threatened her in ANYWAY or physically attacked her with a weapon and she defended herself by attacking him and happened to get his penis, okay. But no, apparently she tied him up and cut off his penis. Something tells me there wasn't a struggle.
So no previous violence was mentioned, no domestic dispute was reported, just man files for divorce and then she cuts his penis off and all the women are laughing about it. A man is now physically mutilated beyond repair and will NEVER be the same again, and some how women think this is funny. So I posted this on my Facebook asking how this is funny and here's what happen;
I made NO denial of men committing violent acts against female genitalia, I acknowledge that it does indeed happen (AND IT'S NOT FUNNY, I believe I expressed that in my post). Another Friend on Facebook, let's call him "B" posted a Dave Chappelle video about man rape;
If you didn't watch the video, Dave Chappelle (AS A COMEDIAN) is humorously saying that men get raped as well and while women have hot-lines and other avenues to discuss their rapes, men don't have nearly as many and because of that male rapes often go unreported. Dave Chappelle even mentions that there is nothing funny about rape. Dave Chappelle is doing what all effective comedians do, take a serious topic, reduce it to a simple formula and discuss it in a way that is both humorous and informative. He's 100% right, Men don't NEARLY have as many avenues to report sexual assaults and rapes as women do and YET, YET the vast majority of female rapes STILL GO UNREPORTED. Despite SO MANY HOTLINES, SUPPORT GROUPS, WEBSITES, ect. ect. Women are still afraid to come forward about rapes. Back on topic.
"B" responded to "R" as you can see above by saying;
commit violence on men on a large scale and is rarely ever reported.
Women end up getting hurt because they date some of the most violent
guys ever. Women don't want boring Larry they want Gang member Jack. I
don't believe this men is out to get women bull crap. If women actually
knew how much men love women they wouldn't be throwing this feminist
stuff around all willy nilly."
and what does "R" do ? Does she respond with a point-counterpoint style of debate by presenting an argument to counter the good points "B" put forth? Does she acknowledge that violence is NOT gender specific and that both genders are prone to and susceptible to violence? Nope, "R" replies with;
"Yeah, you really need to shut the fuck up."
WOW, such compelling argumentation..."B" didn't make any ass-hole comment about women being stupid, inferior or anything close to that. He simply made a logical point about women dating violent men (which makes sense if you think about it) and stated that men love women. And "R"'s reply was merely to get angry and tell him to be quiet. Furthermore and this is just for kicks but "R" later went on to post this little delightful gem;
This is delightful for many reasons.
#1: No one ignores the sexism women face. I think there are a lot of places in which women face sexism. That does indeed to be addressed but no one is denying that. And people who do deny the LEGITIMATE ISSUES that women face are indeed jerks.
#2: No one ignores murders or rapes. I can think of HUNDREDS of cases where men were arrested for killing women and physically assaulting them. We live in a society where men who see women physically assaulted by their boyfriends will step in and defend them if they are physically capable to do so. No one IGNORES these things and to suggest that they do is an active denial of reality. I remember the Jessica Mokdad issue here in Michigan, an entire convention was centered around her honor killing at the hands of her Islamic Parents. So, no one's ignoring rapes or murders OF ANY KIND! Not to mention, WOMEN HAVE KILLED MEN AS WELL!
#3: The term "Patriarchy" is a solid feminist term, and this is telling because by using this term, she's ultimately saying that women have no ability to do anything because they can only do what "The Patriarchy" allows them to do. Therefore making women out to be nothing more than mindless slaves at the mercy of the invisible monster they call "The Patriarchy". And if you REALLY think about "The Patriarchy" has been serving women for a LONG TIME. Women have MORE reproductive rights than EVER. Women have no fault divorce, Women get alimony payments, Child support (which unfortunately some women spend on themselves then their children), women are more able to receive government assistance than men, as I've stated before there are more avenues for women to express sexual assault and rapes and FASTER legal action taken when those things occur. Furthermore the terms "patriarchy" ignore the MANY cases in which females have had sex with underage boys and suffered NO LEGAL consequences AT ALL and even worse even forced those underage boys to pay child support for women who are legally and able to support their own children. NOT to mention the MANY cases of sexual abuse done by WOMEN ON WOMEN! But no, it's all the fault of "The Patriarchy"...right...
#4: As far as being told "Don't objectify me!". 9/10 outta of ten most feminist express anger at men even finding them attractive. As expressed here in, please skip to 4:15;
Clearly telling a woman that you find her interesting and asking her to coffee is sexualizing her. Gotcha. Right. I'm not gonna sit here and deny that what happen to her wasn't awkward but it was BY NO MEANS sexualization. Now she didn't elaborate on what he looked like, how he carried himself, who knows, maybe he was totally creepy, but if those were factors she didn't make them clear in her video. She does stress that it was "just her" in the elevator with this guy, BUT being a guy myself and knowing how awkward males are (being one myself) I'd imagine that this guy would rather get a woman alone to ask her out and be rejected in private as opposed to asking her out in front of everyone and getting rejected among the vox populi. But from the way she makes it sounds, it sounds like she was about to get raped or threatened, and it ain't that serious, as opposed to one blog I read not too long ago about a woman who has been rudely hit on by men who made very rude and sexual comments about her, shouted at her and even worse followed her. THAT is cause for alarm, but being asked out by an awkward dude in an elevator isn't anything to go 4 alarms about...and unfortunately 4 alarms were called about this incident, where even Atheist hero Richard Dawkins was thrown under the bus for dismissing Rebecca Watson's uneasiness about being asked out.
So "don't objectify me" is a cry for "stop telling me I'm sexy and asking me out!". So in "R"'s words, miss me with that "Patriarchy" bullsh*t. This is a SHAMELESS double standard that's rolled out whenever it's convenient. I'm not going to deny that men have double standards as well but at the same time I'm not going to allow someone who ISN'T interested in AT LEAST discussing the matter make me out to look like I'm some sort of evil bastard who hates women and would rather end the entire discussion by saying;
"Yeah, you really need to shut the fuck up."
Amazing. Thoughts? Comments?