First up there's Batman...or more specifically "The Batman" now with Robert Pattison donning the cape and cowl now that Ben Affleck found that trap door to escape. My initial reaction to the announcement of a new Batman film was an eye roll, the reason being is that it hadn't even been that long since Nolan's Batman and here we are getting another Batman film. My second reaction was to shake my head and acknowledge DC/Warner Bros. Batman Problem. The Batman Problem is basically DC/Warner Bros. don't know how to do anything competently besides Batman and will resort to Batman or Batman adjacent properties to generate revenue, a few quick examples "Batman vs Superman", "Gotham", Batman villains appearing in "Arrow", "Batwoman", "Pennyworth", "Titans"...the list goes on. Batman is a cash cow for DC and probably one of it's most popular and recognizable superheroes so it's easy to see why they came up with the equation Batman = Money.
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| Actual photo of DC/Warner Bros. w/ all the money they made off The Batman Franchise |
But merely inserting Batman in anything doesn't exactly equal an enhanced quality of the product, in the case of "The Batman", Robert Pattison looks amazing as Batman and from the trailer, the film looks awesome. Colin Farrel as The Penguin, I'm not exactly sold on just yet, such an unusual choice of actor, Jeffery Wright as Jim Gordon...okay, what have I always said? Jim Gordon is a job, not a person, same as Perry White and therefore anyone can play Jim Gordon or Jamie Gordon if they were to gender-bend. While Jim Gordon is a great character, he's not essential and therefore doesn't need to exist for Batman to be Batman, or to rephrase it, he's not as essential as Alfred (who can't be altered).
That aside the movie looks awesome and the main selling point for me is that the central villain of the film will be The Riddler played by Paul Dano. Being completely honest, I don't know much about Paul Dano aside from "There Will Be Blood" and I've only seen bits and pieces of the movie and you can imagine which piece I've seen the most frequent but if you had to take a guess (or a straw) you can probably figure out which one. Regardless, I know Paul Dano will do a much better job than Jim Carey and for damn sure will be much better than whatever that was in "Gotham"...(what an utter train wreck he was). For my money, I still contend that "Nightcrawler's" Louis Bloom was The Riddler. As it stands The Riddler looks like he might consider Batman a friend, a symbol of justice except The Riddler is more or less a dark mirror of sorts.
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| That's The Riddler...tell me I'm wrong! |
It does look like they're making The Riddler out to be something of a serial killer and I love me some serial killers (fictional ones, mind you! Real one can rot). As long as The Riddler is shown to be smart, sadistic, and just as intelligent as Batman (oh yeah and the riddles are good, can't forget those) I'll be enjoying this movie completely. I'm not gonna get into the full-on combo Batman unleashes on that Joker goon but if you insert a certain Simpsons audio clip in there it'd fit right in and besides the comment section on Youtube offers up enough gold to keep you howling for days with laughter. Needless to say, it was damn impressive.
Now on to something less impressive...*sigh* The Snyder Cut of "Justice League"...why is this still a thing? Why is this something fans want? What is even this and who talks like that? Okay, after seeing the trailer...yeah...this is a completely different movie...and my verdict is...IT STILL LOOKS BAD! The reason why is become it doesn't address the central problem which is it has too many ideas going into it and not enough time flesh them out and the ideas that are in there aren't fleshed out enough. Steppenwolf is a suck ass villain with NO charisma, he's a CGI nightmare that slithered out of post-production and on to our movie screens before given a proper character and now...and now Darkseid's in this monstrosity?! Did The Anti-Life Equation edit this movie? I'm sorry Snyder fans, props to him for getting to actually make the film he wanted to make, that's a wonderful achievement and he was indeed done dirty by circumstances and by Joss Whedon but all that being said his vision still SUCKS!
And besides with The DCEU now an aborted fetus (graphic language but I'm annoyed, deal with it...I'm doing a lot of sidebars in this article...hrm...) who even cares if we do get The Snyder Cut? This won't resurrect any chance of a sequel! Batfleck is gone, Batman is now back to his own universe so The Snyder Cut and The Justice League as a whole is a moot point...so the film's existence is merely vindication for Snyder and his fans to prove that he did actually make a good (very relative term) movie. Darkseid looks horrible and I get that this isn't a finished product but geez, he's the first shot in the trailer and already I think The Thing from "Fan 4 Stic" (the 2015 "Fantastic Four) looks better.
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| When "Smallville" does you better...that's a problem... |
Gosh, what a train wreck this is becoming! Why are people hyped for this? I suppose I should explain, not only does "Justice League" have the daunting task of establishing these characters and fleshing them out but their motivations for joining the Justice League, not making Batman completely useless, Superman's resurrection, Steppenwolf, what The Motherboxes do (they're not actually terraforming devices...or boxes...this damn movie...) and who exactly is Darkseid and what the hell is up with Batman's vision of the future (which will never come to fruition because we won't get a sequel), all of this needs to be explained and yeah, not enough time to do all of that. Now from what I'm hearing it will be a 4 hour (4 HOURS?!) miniseries on HBOMax (HBO's new streaming service)...this is crazy. Will I be watching it? NOPE! I will be keeping abreast of it and watching reviews but I've already been burned once...I'm done with this nonsense.
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| Not important. |
So looking forward to "The Batman" but of course, I am because it's Batman and that's the only character DC/Warner Bros. can do right, am I looking forward to The Snyder Cut? I never was and now after seeing the trailer I'm even looking forward to it LESS and it'll come and go without any pomp and circumstance I'll forget all about it until like a random itch that rears it's head in the most inconvenient of times I'll be reminded it exists and much to my dismay, my loyalty to DC will compel me to at the very least read the spoilers and maybe hunt down a few clips...*sigh* I'll check you guys later!
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