"Watchmen" has been one of those hot properties for a long time now, the book came out in 1987 and that's a long time for something that literally shook the comic book industry to its core (not an exaggeration) to be sitting on the shelf. Before a movie was even proposed people talked about doing a mini-series, HBO was involved before But Alan Moore's work has largely been considered unfilmable, mostly by Alan Moore himself but that didn't stop people from wanting to do it and Zack Snyder managed to do it (and in my opinion, well). But I'm not going to belabor the history of "Watchmen", just pointing out that now we're about to have 2 (count'em), 2 sequels to the same series one for the canon story or the print version of "Watchmen" ("Doomsday Clock") and one for the film ("Watchmen" the HBO series). And while The HBO series doesn't consider itself a sequel to the films, let's be 100% honest and say the mainstream aren't going to care or be aware of the comic books.
So...going into this series...I'm gonna be 100% honest, I think this is going to suck, and I say that without an ounce of care because in all honesty, I don't care. I had no real expectations going into this and once it was announced I simply rolled my eyes and said "Whatever." because the idea sounds bad on its face. For starters, if "Watchmen" were to have a sequel, it'd have to be done IN PRINT (hence why I'm more interested in "Doomsday Clock" than I am this) and second, this won't feature the "Watchmen" characters, just greater ramifications of the fallout of the events of "Watchmen"...which again I'm not interested in. The ending to "Watchmen" is left ambiguous for a reason, did Ozymandias managed to save the world? The ending is left open for you to determine who's in the right...but sadly, in the words of Dr. Manhattan "Nothing ever ends." and that includes people's obsession with this series which brings us back to this series. Which I can only imagine was conceived because "Game Of Thrones" was ending and The HBO execs were like "Holy sh*t, we need to fill airtime! What other property can we produce that already has an established fanbase?".
So am I expecting this to be good? If by production and acting quality, absolutely, but that's about it. The cast is nothing to write home about apart from Don Johnson and Jeremy Irons (playing an aged Ozymandias, how he'll manage an American accent will be fun to watch) having played 2 DC roles (Alfred and now Ozymandias) and that's about it. The writer and showrunner for the series is Damon Lindelof...and he's a huge fan of "Watchmen", and I enjoyed "L O S T", but ever since then, at least in my opinion lightning really hasn't struck (then again I never watched "The Leftovers" which might have been good...wasn't interested, I'm not too keen of works adapted from books) so having him as writer for this...I don't know. I'm gonna dive into the pilot episode and give you guys my take on the series when we come out the other end, just know I go into this not exactly wanting to hate it, but not exactly looking forward to it. We'll see how I'm doing after the break;
They say one shouldn't judge a pilot too harshly, after all, pilots are mostly "show mes" for network execs to decide whether or not to greenlight a project. Most pilot episodes of any show are usually bad after all the show is still finding its footing and establishing all the things that'll be set up in future episodes and asks the viewer one simple question when the credits roll; "Do you wanna see more?" with "Watchmen" the answer is a simple "No.", not a big one, just a simple one, a small, quiet, no. For starters...this in no way shape and or form had any semblance of "Watchmen" in it aside from a few easter eggs and mentions of various characters from the book, but overall this is its own entity and that's the problem. When you slap a label like "Watchmen" on something IT HAD BETTER BE "WATCHMEN"! This ain't "Watchmen".
"Watchmen" introduced us to a world where superheroes were real...sort of, superpowers weren't real but anomalies such as Adrian Veidt exists and then there's Dr. Manhattan, the ONLY superpowered being in existence who for all intents and purposes doesn't care that he is. "Watchmen" the book ended in an aforementioned ambiguous state, for those of you who don't know, Ozymandias, in an attempt to save the world from an impending World War tricked the world into believing it was under attack from an extradimensional force thus forcing the world to put aside their differences and unite to take down a common enemy, at the end it appeared to work and as Ozy reveled in his success Dr. Manhattan tells him "Nothing ever really ends, Adrian." which means that perhaps Adrian's masterplan was no more than a band-aid on a hemorrhage.
While all of this is going on, Rorshach and Nite Owl have discovered Adrian's plot but after realizing they're too late, Nite Owl decides to leave it alone and live with Silk Spectre and Rorschach gets blown to bits by Dr. Manhattan because his moral fortitude won't allow him to leave it alone. Unbeknownst to Ozymandias, Rorschach mailed his journal of notes which detail Adrian's plan to a newspaper and as the book closes the submission's editor is about to draw Rorshach's journal thus implying that perhaps Adrian's masterplan will come undone eventually. Now that was 1987...the ramifications of such an action coming to light in 2019 is what needs to be discussed...but we don't begin our tale in 2019 or 1987 for that matter...the show starts in 1921...
Credit where credit is due, the opening of the episode is indeed gripping as it shows the massacre of Black Wall Street, a real-life event which happened in Tulsa, OK (which is where our story takes place) but again this is all wrong, even in the broader context of the story it's just plain wrong for the simple fact that everything that happened in history happened exactly the same way it did EXCEPT until the 1980s when Jon Osterman took radiation to the face and became naked Blue man, that's when EVERYTHING as we know it changed. So starting the show BEFORE the incident which changed the world even took place is a strange one. The entire time I was watching the opening I was waiting for the inevitable twist that would reveal I wasn't actually watching Jordan Peele's upcoming "Lovecraft Country" show...which is again (sigh) about racism with Lovecraftian horror mixed in (yawn) but alas, no such twist came.
If this was done to highlight the racial tensions in Tulsa, OK...okay, but again why highlight? The world has changed SO much since Dr. Manhattan and the giant squid that talking about (everyone's favorite bailiwick these days) racism is passe' to say the least. But talk about it we must and unfortunately leading the racist charge is a group that calls themselves The 7th Kavalry (spelled with a "K" dontcha know) who all don Rorschach masks and claim that the time is coming to rally against "race traitors". Some problems, RORSCHACH WAS NEVER A RACIST! Now Rorschach was an anti-social psychopath (he had no problem killing) BUT Rorschach oddly enough had a moral code that above all demanded justice, there is NO justice in racism and Rorschach would agree.
Furthermore, despite seeing hookers and prostitutes and pimps almost on the daily (the man practically lived on the street corner) he didn't just go randomly attacking them and race was never apart of his mantra. Hell, his psychologist was Black and Rorschach never once made many mention of his race. So the fact that these men are wearing Rorshach masks does a massive disservice to the character and puts a bad taste in my mouth, because not only is Rorschach my favorite character, he's also (for all intents and purposes) the hero of "Watchmen" as he is (oddly enough) the one with the most moral ground on which to stand. Now Rorschach's image is some sort of racist icon...not cool. But the discovery of his journal is at least hinted at during Looking Glass's questioning where he asks and I'm paraphrasing "do you believe extradimensional threats are a hoax" or something to that effect...which means perhaps The 7th Kavalry turned Rorschach's journal into a manifesto of sorts...ugh...
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| Looking Glass, easily the best character of the whole show. |
Our main character is a police officer, Angela, who after an officer is gunned down, kicks ass and takes names as a masked officer. All the police officers have to wear masks due to some incidents where officers were ID'ed and killed. Angela and other officers hide the fact that they're police officers from their friends and family for the sake of keeping themselves safe. Now here's an issue, in "Watchmen" masked vigilantes were originally welcomed and turned into something of a task force, like the Minute Men and The Comedian was used in military operations (Vietnam specifically) but when "masks" as Rorschach calls them were outlawed...it was only "the masks" the needed to be outlawed and or registered. How the police suddenly becoming masked crime-fighters is in any way "Watchmen" is beyond me because basically, they're still police.
Niteowl, Rorschach and Silk Spectre had no such training as police officers and therefore operated outside the law...in this series, the masked officers are the law...so not much conflict surrounding the concept of vigilantism (which is a heavy theme in the book). Unfortunately, I can't continue reviewing the series without expressing how much of a product of 2019 this series actually is, to explain it further would be much to my annoyance so I'll just sum up my opinion and say the following: I'm tired of when Black characters make up the majority of the main cast of a series or film racism is ALWAYS somewhere in the story be it subtext, be it explicit...it's ALWAYS somewhere and I'm tired of it, it makes it seem as if racism is the ONLY interesting thing Black people have to offer and it makes us more of a past than who we are and I'm tired of it.
And that's the thing, the overarching threat in "Watchmen" (the comic and yes, even the film) was all out Nuclear War. The Cold War was at its highest, everyone had nukes, mistrust was in the air and it was just a matter of time before someone made the wrong move. It didn't matter if you were White or Black, Asian, Hispanic, once the bombs start flying EVERYONE's getting disintegrated. The overarching threat in this godawful series is...White Supremacy...(see what I mean about this being a product of 2019). Now the whole point of Ozymandias's master plan was that the threat of Nuclear War could be stopped IF you give everyone a common target, nothing unite's people faster than a common enemy, in both the film and the book Ozymandias manufactured one (the giant squid in the comic book and Dr. Manhattan in the film), but how does one give White Supremacists a common threat?
The whole point of "Watchmen" was the concept of peace and just how fragile it can be and at the same time just how easy it can be gained IF other circumstances were at play, was Ozy justified in his actions or not? I'm failing to see where that question can arrive or even come up because White Supremacy is a far more nebulous threat than Nuclear War. For starters, you can't stop being from being racist you can stop them from acting racist. A racist is always going to think racist things but acting racist is entirely different. And damnit, I'm talking about racism...you see what this show is doing to me?! Where would the moral question come from then? Because at the end of "Watchmen" Silk Spectre and Nite Owl decide to keep Ozy's master plan a secret realizing that maybe he's right (actually just grateful to be alive) and lying is the best way to keep the peace.
The entire ending of "Watchmen" hinges on a lie that may or may not be revealed a lie that forced all countries to lay down arms and unite in combat against an unknown force that threated EVERYONE. I'm failing to see how the same logic can be applied here or even how one takes down White Supremacy? The 7th Kavalry doesn't appear to be much of a threat either, we're not shown how dangerous they can be, there's a scuffle at a ranch but that's the extent of it. They're not shown to be homegrown terrorists, they didn't bomb the police building or anything immediately threatening. The catalyst is that one of the members shot a police officer, while horrible is not large scale enough to warrant my interest.
"Watchmen" begins with the murder of The Comedian and that becomes the thread we follow throughout the book, asking the question "Who?" and later "Why?". In the series, we know who (The 7th Kavalry) and we know why (because he was a cop) there's no mystery and no signal to any larger corruption. Aside from the 2nd episode...which don't me star....okay I'll start. We find out that Don Johnson's character was once a member of The KKK (because OF COURSE, he was, dude was just playing a modern version of his character in "Django Unchained") and that's about it. Also the flat out character assassinations!
Let's talk about Laurie who I think suffered the worst. Silk Spectre is now separated from Dan and works for the FBI taking on the name of her father Laurie Blake, and she keeps a big blue vibrator as a reminder of Dr. Manhattan. This...this is a no. This cynical and world-worn Laurie is NOT Silk Spectre. Now to be honest her character in the book NEVER wanted to be a superhero and was more or less pushed into it by her mother (the original Silk Spectre). Laurie just wanted to be normal but saw no way around being a hero after becoming Dr. Manhattan's...er..."human connection". All that to say despite not wanting to be in "the life" when Nite Owl asks her to aide him in breaking Rorschach out of prison Laurie has a good time (a good enough time to immediately bone afterward) and at the end of the book Nite Owl and Laurie are now undercover and pretty much done with vigilantism knowing the full extent of Ozy's plan and deciding to keep it among themselves.
That's where we left those characters, but this Laurie apparently got caught and decided to work for the government...no. Realize that when the Keane Act was passed Laurie just quit and essentially became a whore for the government but not in any combat or investigative role...she became a literal whore (the government essentially pays her to have sex with Dr. Manhattan...tell me I'm wrong, I'll wait). So the idea that Laurie would just suddenly become a government detective is eyeball rolling, I can see her retiring and MAYBE being a model (having had sex with a near god-like being is a pretty decent selling point) but NOT as an FBI agent.
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| Earn that paycheck, Laurie! |
Lastly, Ozymandias and my goodness do they butcher his character! Not only is Jeremy Irons unable to do an American accent (Ozymandias is 100% American) but he plays Ozymandias as a sadist. Ozymandias is a lot of things but a sadist isn't one of them and having him abuse random clones (poor Tom Mison) is not in his character. Ozy may be a mass murderer but he's not without reason and despite being a murderer his reasoning is solid (solid in which you can see the logical progression). Each murder he commits is for the sole purpose of making sure his master plan doesn't come to light his former secretary (in "Before Watchmen"), his aides (in "Watchmen") and more than a million people worldwide all of those had a reason behind it. For something as simple and as stupid as a play...Ozy wouldn't do that.
In the end, this series is a very poor, poor, poor sequel, follow up, whatever the hell you wanna call it. It's so far removed from the original it doesn't even come close. "Gotham" serves as a better series than this and I hate "Gotham". What we have here is someone trying to hitch a completely different coach to "Watchmen's" wagon and ride the name recognition to fame all the while being it's own thing and wanting to stand on it's own. If it could do that it wouldn't need "Watchmen's" good name. No one's talking about this, no one's asked for this and it's not even being featured on DC's (misbegotten) streaming service. I'll wait for the REAL sequel "Doomsday Clock" and silently wait for this monstrosity to be canceled. I'll catch you guys later!
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