Monday, March 26, 2012

Rita & Lord Zedd Theory...

So for those of you who don't know I'm a HUGE "Power Rangers" fan. I've recently gotten into the latter series thanks to Linkara's History Of The Power Rangers series and if you haven't checked it out, I strongly recommend that you do. I myself am currently watching and enjoying "Mystic Force". But this is NOT the purpose of this blog, for my Power Rangers fans out there you all will remember that in the exciting conclusion of The Zordon Era, "Countdown To Destruction", The Z-Wave destroyed ALL of the Power Ranger bad guys, except for Lord Zedd, Rita Repulsa and Divatox. This has left many fans wondering just WHY they were transformed into humans instead of destroyed. Well allow me to share my theory!

If you all remember Astronema, the hot villain of "Power Rangers: In Space" You'll remember that she is from a space colony of humanoid beings called KO-35, also the home of Red Ranger Andros. Considering that Power Rangers has a multitude of humanoid characters (Zordon, Rita, Divatox, Andros...ect.ect..) it would only be logical to assume that these characters have similar origins. This isn't without in-series support considering Andros tells the rangers that Earth is NOT the only planet with human life.  So we have a planet of humanoids KO-35 and not to mention Dimitria's home world of Inquiris.
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KO-35


Now keeping all of that in mind, both Astronema and Divatox were victims of kidnappings. Dimitria said that she had a twin sister who was kidnapped (and considering Divatox was transformed into a being similar to Dimitria is "Countdown To Destruction", it would only be logical to assume that Divatox is the aforementioned sister).
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Twin sisters...both equally annoying...

Astronema, in a like manner was kidnapped by Darkonda and given to Ecliptor to raise. Astronema is the sister of the Red Ranger Andros. Keep all of that in mind. Now considering the appearance of Master Vile and Rito Revolto, it'd only be logical to question just HOW exactly is Rita related to them when she is in fact humanoid, furthermore why is it that THEY were destroyed when Rita was merely transformed?
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Oh yeah, they're totally related...

The logical conclusion would be that Rita was NOT actually related to them and was a victim of kidnapping herself (again this is NOT without precedent). What I'm getting at is that possibly Rita was from KO-35 or Eltar herself. Considering Zordon is a wizard, I'd imagine Eltar is a place where magic reigns. And Zordon has been known to travel the galaxy (hence why KO-35 knows about him).
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Original form possibly ?


As for Lord Zedd, I'm assuming that Zedd was once an Eltarian or KO-35 being as well and eventually fell prey to dark magic which altered his form completely (hence why Zedd requires tubes and potions to recharge his energy).
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Original form possibly...but why he's dressed like Mr. Rogers is anyone's guess...

Either way this seems to be a more than logical explanation why Lord Zedd & Rita were transformed rather than destroyed. Let me know what you guys think and I'll catch you all later!! PEACE!!

Monday, March 19, 2012

The Foolishness Of Remakes

So I gotta go to work in a bit but I felt the need to write this blog now because it was on my mind and apparently I'm at my most analytical and eloquent in the wee hours of the morning. What's on the docket today? Why it's our old pal Reboots...but this time in the form of Remakes. Haven't I already hammered this topic to the ground? Well obviously not well enough if I feel like I have to address it again. So let's get to why I'm talking about this topic once again.

So as we all know, "21 Jump Street" just came out and I think it's receiving positive reviews (I haven't bothered to check the stats). Now, being a 90's kid I vaguely remember the original "21 Jump Street" TV show, so when I heard that Hollywood was bringing this idea to the big screen, I was interested. After all it's quite a novel concept, youthful undercover police officers bringing down young criminals.

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Kinda like a combination of these two movies.

When Channing Tatum was announced as being apart of the cast, I was apprehensive BUT dude was in enough fighting movies and he was in G.I. Joe, so having Channing Tatum playing an undercover cop was something that'd be right up his alley. But when Jonah Hill was announced I raised an eyebrow, I was thinking to myself "Holy crap, Jonah Hill doing some serious acting?! This could be awesome.". And when I heard Jonah was slimming down for the role, I was 100% sure this was going to be Jonah Hill transition into being a dramatic actor. After all, I'm a firm believer that comedians make some of the best dramatic actors (but that's neither here or there). The point is I was expecting this movie to be a very serious drama...and why wouldn't I? BECAUSE THE ACTUAL SERIES WAS A DRAMA! So when I saw the trailer I faceplam'd HARD!


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Overused BUT for good reason...

Now, let me preamble this by saying that I am NOT saying the movie sucks, I have not (nor do I have any interest in seeing) seen the movie and therefore cannot judge it as a movie. But I'm not judging it as a movie, I'm judging it by the work it shares it's name with and compared to that it fails miserably! Oh but Ugo, aren't you being too harsh ? After all it should be able to stand on it's own merits. If that were the case then why not just make this an original movie instead of attaching it to a series it has nothing to do with other than sharing it's name.

Let me spell it for you guys, basically what I'm saying is, why call this "21 Jump Street" if it doesn't match the tone of the work it's based on? "21 Jump Street" was NOT a comedy (sure it had it's comedic moments, most series do) but it was a drama...however "21 Jump Street" the movie is a straight-up comedy through and through. And there's nothing wrong with comedy...but "21 Jump Street" was NEVER a comedy...so why turn it into one?

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I'm waiting for answers...



I mean pardon me for expecting them to at least try and match the source material, it's only IN THE FRIGGIN' TITLE! I don't mind them having new characters and all that jazz, but I DO care about staying true to the source material. "21 Jump Street" the movie could have EASILY been a drama. They could have stuck with the premise of trying to bring down a high school drug dealer and at the same time addressed some REAL teenage issues like: Suicide, Depression, Bullying and many others. I'm not saying it has to be a big screen P.S.A but I mean SOMETHING that'd link it to the seriousness of the series.  My idea is that you have the 2 cops, one of them WAS a bully back in his high school days but has long since grew out of his bullying ways, and when he sees a bully picking on a kid, he takes no time in stepping in and setting things right. A gesture as simple as that goes a long way. Or maybe one of the cop was picked on a lot, and notices a kid who looks as if he's possibly carrying a weapon and discovers that this kid plans to shoot up the school.

Instead we get Beer kegs and "put your tongue back in your mouth"...Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Again, I'm not saying this movie sucks, I'm just saying why call it "21 Jump Street"...why not call it "High school Undercover" or something along those lines. Because aside from having the "21 Jump Street" name attached to it...it's nothing like it. So again...why do this?

In alike manner I must address Tim Burton and Johnny Depp's recent love affair, "Dark Shadows". My brother and I used to watch "Dark Shadows" back in the day. Not religiously, we were very young at the time and I hardly remember an episode BUT I do remember Barnabas Collins and I do remember watching it frequently enough to be familiar with the gist of the show. This used to come on early mornings before "The Addams Family" (it was some kinda monster marathon thing they had goin'). Anyways, I remember "Dark Shadows" being serious in tone. Of course it was a soap opera in the 60's, it was cheesy and over the top at times BUT it nonetheless took it's material seriously enough to maintain it's drama .

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I DO remember this though...this was pretty awesome.

"Dark Shadows" was like old school Gothic novella in the vein of Bram Stoker and things of the like. So when Tim Burton was announced to handle such material, I was thinking "Match made in Heaven.", and Johnny Depp playing Barnabas Collins ?! Forget about it! SLAM DUNK!!...and then the trailer came...


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Overused...but for a good reason...

I don't understand this idea of taking old ideas and making them funny...as if funny is better or something. "Dark Shadows" COULD HAVE BEEN AMAZING if they stuck to the dark and Gothic nature of the source material...instead we get a pale faced Johnny Depp in weird clothing acting goofy...and there was a time and place for that...it was called "Edward Scissorhands". This is NOT rocket science! Why call this "Dark Shadows" if the ONLY thing that connects it to "Dark Shadows" is Barnabas Collins? Why not call this "Out Of Date Vampire" or something that fits the over all comedic nature of the movie. Don't call this "Dark Shadows" and give us a vampire tearing open a TV set and constantly saying out of date things for humorous effect.

I'm not saying there shouldn't be any comedy at all but for F*CK'S SAKE "Dark Shadows" was a DARK, GOTHIC DRAMA and the ONE time I was relying on Tim Burton to do what he's good at he completely screws me over. What happen to the Tim Burton that gave us "Sleepy Hollow" ?

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a.k.a The Movie That Insured Christopher Walken would terrorize the nightmares of children everywhere.

All of this is to ask a very important question that I asked in my previous post, "WHO ARE THESE REBOOTS/REMAKES FOR?". Because the very reason WHY these things are being remade is because a fanbase made them popular. So why take something popular and then crap on the very reason WHY you're taking it? It makes no sense, because I doubt hardcore "Dark Shadows" fans are gonna stand for this, and although I'm not a "Dark Shadows" fan, I still hate to see any fandom get raped.

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This made me VERY sympathetic to raped fandoms EVERYWHERE...

In conclusion, I'd like to leave you all with an exchange I had with a Youtuber who agreed with my assessment.

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Saturday, March 17, 2012

The DC Reboot Revisited...

Like the gift that keeps on giving (sorta like Cancer is that disease that may or may not come back and bite you in the ass) it's time for me to once again address our old pal The DC Reboot...correction The NEEDLESS DC Reboot. After the snafu of The Starfire Controversy (Starfiregate ?) as figured below:
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Starfire: Extraterrestrial Sex Prop...




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That pretty much sums it up...

I figured things would settle down and The DC reboot would eventually hit it's stride and start producing quality work again. However I'm hearing thus is not the case...but that's not the topic exactly. Either way the thing that's rising the bile to my throat is the current incarnation of one of my (and I'm pretty sure many others) animated crushes Harley Quinn. Now Harley was a COMPLETELY original creation made just for "Batman: The Animated Series" (still one of the best cartoons ever) and ever since her conception Harley has been a MAJOR break out character, generating fandoms and cosplayers and long list of geeks drawn in by her cutesy, sadistic charm. What was Harley's magic you ask? Was she some hyper-sexualized slut? Was she merely fan service? NO! Harley was a breakout character because she was enjoyable to watch, and despite being insane, she was cute, misguided, lovable, and we loved her because of her hopeful and optimistic outlook on everything (even crime...hrm...).

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C'mon, who can hate THIS face! =D

Harley broke her way into the mainstream comic books and was WELL received as a Batman rogue. Not only that but the translation from animated to comic book didn't mar her character at all, she still maintained all the traits and charms that made us love her. Harley's involvement in the comic books even made the catastrophe that is "Countdown" slightly enjoyable...(and that ain't easy considering...)

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Trust me, it only LOOKS cool...

Anyway, when a NEW Batman series was announced on The WB (later the The CWKids) Harley was going to be a featured character, and I don't know about everyone else but I liked "The Batman", it took the right amount of liberties with characters without raping them completely. So when Harley made her debut, she was just as perky and cute as her previous incarnation.

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C'mon look how happy she is! You honestly can't hate this face!!

But then something happened...something very, very horrible happened...not only in the world of comic books, but in the entertainment industry at large. The word "reboot" no longer applied to that KICK ass 3D animated series about computers that was ironically better than "The Matrix Trilogy".

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The industry just rebooted your title Yo !

Reboots, swept the land like a massive plague, claiming franchises and rendering them meaningless shadows of their former selves. and for reasons I can only assume prove the whole 2012 thing...the Reboot Plague hit DC Comics. Like magic all of DC's brightest and best were overhauled, for reasons that are still outside of our understanding, and suddenly the Reboot Plague hit some people I cared about.

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We have reason to believe that Harley was tipped off about The Reboot Plague and went into hiding...

Harley was hit in the crossfire and instead of being the bubbly, cute, misguided criminal chick, some jack ass who probably didn't know jack squat about Harley's character got it in his head to turn her into some NOT CUTE, NOT BUBBLY, NOT MISGUIDED, criminal chick who ends up banging Deadshot (Floyd Lawton) in a bathroom...

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I feel disgusted even posting this. Keep in mind that the part of this that REALLY makes me sick is that it's Floyd Lawton banging Harley...and I hate Deadshot...I hate Deadshot so much.

Let's go back and state what made Harley a great character, she was cute (like kittens), bubbly (like a child), cheery (like someone who has the world on a string) and every now and then she was just plain old goofy, but it worked for her because it was all for the sake of getting a laugh out of The Joker. Harley was NOT a hardcore murderer like The Joker, Harley was a petty criminal who sure, would hurt people but no more than she had to and would usually avoid it altogether if possible. If The Joker represented the dark side of humor, Harley was definitely the light side of dark humor.

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Awwwwwz....

This new Harley however...okay I'm gonna be 100% fair and say that I have NOT read any of The "Suicide Squad" AT ALL. Everything I'm saying is based solely off of observations, reading summaries, and looking over the comments of the people who ARE reading these books...and as you'll see below, they ain't happy:
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HELL YEAH!!

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MAJOR Kudos for her mentioning "Mad Love", GREAT episode for Harley's backstory !!

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She gets it !

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Unhappiness abounds...
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"Where everything you love dies." DAMN!

Keep in mind that the MAJORITY of these commentator ARE NOT horny fanboys complaining about minor details, these are WOMEN expressing their disappointment in the handling of a character they loved. I wanna close with this guy who'll bring me to my final point.

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You just lost a loyal 20 year comic book reader...think about that for a minutes DC...20 YEARS!

I LOVE the character of Harley, and I still do...the previous incarnations of her. Harley was a rare treat because she was sexy without being sexualized, she was complex, bubbly, cute, fun and we all wanted her to one day turn it around and get her life back on track...that and all us guys secretly (who am I kidding, not secretly) wanted a girlfriend who was just as devoted to us as Harley was to The Joker (thankfully I already found my Harley). Either way, this Harley is NOT my Harley and will never be MY Harley or accepted as the REAL Harley. And ultimately what's the point of ENTIRELY changing Harley? The only thing it accomplished is alienating fans you already had.

Was this Harley supposed to appeal to the generation of tits and ass, generic, faceless, scantly clad, women who look more like strippers than they do superheroes/villains? If that's the case then I shudder to think what they'll do to Zatanna and the other women of The DCU who, despite their choice of dress weren't sluts or anything of the sort. Ultimately we're all left with the question of "Just who in the hell was this reboot intended for?". I think I can agree with The Joker's assessment on the new...I won't call her Harley...
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Yep...



Oh...yeah...and they made Beastboy red.
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Fuck you DC Comics, I'm done and we're so over.

Honestly DC Comics...get your shit together.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

"Pulp Fiction" as written by Shakespeare



This is such an incredibly genius idea that I am almost surprised it hasn't been thought of before now. Considering Quentin Tarantino is one of my favorite directors and I'm a HUGE fan of Olde English (a friend of mine back in High school used to write notes to each other in Shakespearean English), this is a MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN! Olde English has recently become a meme in and of it's self with The Joseph Ducreux Archaic Rap translations (also freakin' hilarious) so re-translating Quentin Tarantino's classic "Pulp Fiction" into Shakespearan English, with both writers having a rich taste of witty dialogue and characters who are characters it's no shock that this works so wonderfully. My only hope is that this catches on and they do another QT movie in Shakespearan english, "Inglourious Basterds" would be AWESOME! Either way, you're a fan of QT and Shakespeare, you'll freakin' LOVE THIS!