Friday, January 18, 2013

Fictional Serial Killers That Dexter Will Never Kill

So we all know I love "Dexter" and if you don't know, well the WAKE UP ALREADY! I've done reviews of the series, posted blogs about it and also did a podcast with 2 note worthy "Dexter" reviewers not too long ago. Despite the fact that I didn't care for Season 7, I still nonetheless enjoy the series and I decided to play Death Battle and imagine a world in which Dexter goes toe-to-toe with some of cinema's and TV's most note worthy serial killers, so here we go;

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If there was EVER anyone who'd be a great enemy for Dexter it'd be this guy. A brazen nutcase with money, resources and the most dangerous weapon of all anonymity. Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt couldn't even catch this guy without doing something illegal, so how would Dexter fair off against the unknown John Doe? I don't know but it'd be very interesting to see what these two would think of each other.

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I could put Mark Hoffman here as he was more about killing, but still the man with the plan has always been John Kramer. I could go on about how I've been begging Epic Rap Battles Of History to pit these two against each other but that wouldn't make much of a post. I'd say that their ideologies are similar but different, as Jigsaw doesn't reform killers and has a complete distaste for killers, Dexter is the same way although he kills killers and enjoys killing. It'd be very interesting for these two to come in contact with each other.

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If there was EVER a prick who deserved it, it'd have to be this guy. Much to my hatred of "American Horror Story", I will say that Bloody Face is unfortunately the antagonist "Dexter" has been missing since Trinity. He's disgusting in all the right ways and smart enough to know how to hide it. Not to mention his education in the field of psychology would give him a VERY interesting insight into Dexter's person as a serial killer who kills killers. Of all the antagonists of Dexter, none come close to Bloody Face, he's like a combination of Jordan Chase and Trinity and that is ONE LETHAL motherfucker. I'd love to see Dexter take this prick down.

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If you've seen this movie then you know these pricks deserve it, specifically Dr. Gallo, but the whole lot of them. In all honesty this would make ONE awesome Season of Dexter if the two were combined. Pitting Dexter against a group of medical students would murder people and then speculate on how the murders were committed...kinda like a guessing game for sadists. It'd make for an awesome season of Dexter because it'd be 5 creative medically trained students against 1 purpose driven serial killer...I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it. Plus Dexter's calm and cold demeanor playing off of Dr. Gallo's boisterous personality would be AWESOME!

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If you haven't watched my "SCREAM" retrospective, I suggest you check it out. Dexter vs. Ghostface would be an interesting clash. I'd like to put Dexter against Mickey, Ghostface from "Scream 2" as he was an actual serial killer (as noted by Billy Loomis's mom). Ghostface, unlike the other killers of this list, doesn't have an exact pathology that urges them to kill rather they have a personal vendetta against Sidney Prescott, but like Dexter gives a crap about that, Ghostface has still killed several people and it'd be interesting to see how Dexter would go about catching him or her. This would be interesting to say the least.

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Deadly as she is beautiful, "CSI"'s Miniature Killer is a strange fit for Dexter but none the less her M.O. of leaving miniature dioramas of the crime scene would be intriguing enough for Dexter to give her a 2nd look as a worthy adversary. Not to mention that this chick is completely mental. Suffering from an intense fear of Bleach and OCD, she picks her victims at random, and I can imagine Dexter having a hard time trying to make sense of her methodology. This would be a fun season.

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This is an addendum for the current post since I forgot to add this one but I'm glad I did. Because Earl Brooks is an awesome serial killer to match wits with Dexter. Both are EXTREMELY careful at what they do, both are family men and both speak to apparitions in their mind, although in Earl's case it's his own Dark Passenger named Marshall. It's hard to say who'd come out on top in this brawl but my money goes to Mr. Brooks, the guy is just too damn good. But I wouldn't count Dexter out, not by a long shot.


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Dexter wouldn't win, he'd be completely screwed here. Jeff The Killer has fought demon possessed Jane The Killer and Slenderman. Whatever powers Jeff The Killer has, this prick ain't easy to kill by ANY stretch of the imagination, but needless to say the fight between these two knife wielding sociopaths would be AWESOME!

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Do I really need to explain why this would be awesome? Dexter vs. a cannibal is something I've wanted to see for a LONG TIME now, and who better than the Thinking Man's Cannibal Dr. Hannibal Lecter himself? Much like Bloody Face, Hannibal has a degree in Forensic Psychology and has a keen insight into serial killers...much like Dexter, so it'd be interesting to see what would happen when Dexter gets him on his table.

Anyways, those are some of mine, let me know some of yours! ENJOY!

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