Monday, September 17, 2012

Wonder Woman Gets The "Smallville" Treatment and Lobo Might Get A Movie ?

So not too long ago it was announced that Warner Bros./DC Entertainment was in talks of doing a Lobo movie with The Rock starring as the titular character. This announcement left MANY of us stunned and at a loss for words because...out of the MANY DC characters who should have gotten movies LONG time ago (Wonder Woman aside) The Flash, Captain Marvel, Aquaman (just to name a few) Warner Bros./DC decided that Lobo is what the fans want...

Oh yeah, I smell dollar signs.

There are a multitude of reasons why this is a HORRIBLE idea but allow me to list just a few (I know, ONLY A FEW?!)
#1: Lobo is a sociopath.
For those of you who don't know Lobo is the last of his kind (The Czarnians), not because of circumstances but because of Lobo's own hand. This guy actually committed massive genocide of his own people...just for fun, and was actually quite proud of himself for doing so. I understand that Hollywood has a obsession with anti-heroes (Snake Plisken, Richard B. Riddick) but Lobo is an out and out sociopath who can't be forced to do anything because he doesn't care about anything (space dolphins aside). Lobo does have a strict honor code...but...that doesn't make him worth his own movie.

#2: Lobo has NO pressing issues.
Lobo is an immortal in the same vein that Majin Buu is immortal, if there is a single drop of Lobo left somewhere it will grow into a new Lobo. Since Lobo is immortal, he doesn't have much to worry about in terms of his own safety and the safety of others (because again, he's a sociopath). So when Lobo enters into a situation we can hardly be asked to care because we know he's gonna come out alive regardless.

#3: Lobo has NO enemies.
This isn't to say that Lobo hasn't pissed people off, no, Lobo has pissed a TON of people off, but ultimately Lobo has no arch-enemy like Superman or Batman who posses a lasting threat to Lobo. Essentially Lobo is a mercenary and therefore has no personal investment in eliminating someone, so there is nothing at stake for Lobo to win or lose (aside from monetary gain).

Those are just 3 of the MANY reasons I could think of as to why a Lobo movie wouldn't work BUT more pressing is the fact that THIS is being discussed while a Wonder Woman movie is yet on the table...however a Wonder Woman TV show is ONCE again on the table. A Wonder Woman TV show in the vein of "Smallville".

Overused but for good reason...

Don't get me wrong, I loved "Smallville", it gave a LOT of characters we normally wouldn't see in live-action format, it gave us one of the best Lex Luthors ever and aside from doing a lot of things wrong, it was entertaining and maintained the core essentials of the Superman mythos.

BUT this doesn't mean that this format will work for EVERY superhero, ESPECIALLY WONDER WOMAN! So allow me to explain WHY this wouldn't work!

#1: Wonder Woman has NO LEARNING CURVE!
Unlike Clark Kent, Wonder Woman was not raised by farmers and DID NOT go to high school, Wonder Woman was made out of clay, and magically endowed with strength, knowledge and virtues, she didn't have to learn these things, if anything Hippolyta merely expanded on her education by providing her a maternal figure and stability in her childhood. Clark Kent without the guidence of Jonathan and Martha would have grown to be a completely different man, Wonder Woman on the other hand...thanks to Athena wouldn't be much different. Furthermore, do we REALLY want to see a Young Wonder Woman bopping around high school and having to deal with HOMEWORK?! How would they make that work ?! She wasn't raised in a city, she was raised on an untracable island completely populated by warrior women. Unlike Superman, Wonder Woman never had to learn the bounds of her own strength and grow into her powers. She was surrounded by other Amazons who she trained and sparred with in order to become the warrior she is. A TV exploring this idea would be hard pressed to put this in the modern world.

#2: Wonder Woman has too much character for Hollywood!
The issue with "strong" female characters is that Hollywood thinks "strong" means "emotionless, kill a bunch of people and look cool while doing it"...and that couldn't be FURTHER from the truth.

I blame you for this Alice!

Truth be told the thing that makes a strong female character is the same thing that makes a strong male character and that is BALANCE! If a female character cries, the crying it's self does not make her automatically "weak", it's what she's crying about. The reason why Wonder Woman won't work is because she has something called compassion. Wonder Woman is NOT a heartless killing machine or some misty-eyed bleeding heart, she's essentially THE PERFECT WARRIOR! Allow me to explain:

Wonder Woman will be ready to fight, but ALWAYS ready to talk peace in order to avoid confrontation. Should confrontation occur, Wonder Woman will beat the ever loving crap out of her enemy. Should her enemy surrender, Wonder Woman will peacefully accept and facilitate the terms of the surrender. Should the confrontation continue, Wonder Woman will beat the ever loving crap out of her enemy until the get the message. If the message is not received and it's made clear to her that she will have to kill her enemy in order to avoid a greater conflict or to stop a conflict already in motion, she will not hesitate to kill her enemy. Wonder Woman will do EVERYTHING in her power to avoid conflict BUT WILL BE PREPARE if conflict is the ONLY option.

That's Wonder Woman in a nutshell. Hence what makes her such a core member of The Trinity, she is everything that Batman and Superman is not. Unfortunately Hollywood doesn't know how to handle a female character that ISN'T merely there fore sex appeal or to just be a heartless killing machine or the love interest of some loser. That's what Hollywood does, they take a female character and if she isn't some emotionless killing machine or a sex prop, then she's the middle force between 2 men lobbying for her affection.

I still blame this on you Alice!

Even "Hunger Games" protagonist Katniss Everdean, despite being a great character (I don't know this personally, I'm just going off of hearsay) the core issue in "The Hunger Games" series eventually came to Katniss' choice of Peeta or Gale (once again hearsay, but I have it on good authority.) Wonder Woman isn't bound by this issue (if any of you mention Steve Trevor, I will be forced to kill you.) Putting Wonder Woman in a "Smallville" format will eventually cause romantic interest to become a driving force in the series...which has NEVER been Wonder Woman, nor has it been Superman (which is what made parts of "Smallville" VERY annoying).

Hollywood has NO clue how to handle a female character if she isn't connected to a man, and Wonder Woman, being raised by a primarily female society is gonna be VERY difficult for ANY writer who doesn't know how to handle a female character outside of the box Hollywood sees fit to put them in.

If Hollywood women aren't emotionless killing machines, sex props or romantic interests...they're Ravenous Men Hating Stereo-typical feminists. This ties into Wonder Woman because, a Wonder Woman TV show MIGHT focus on the fact that she's a woman and play up the whole "A Woman in A Man's World" angle by having Wonder Woman show up every male character who attempts to "Wooo." her in a showing of "Girl power!".  This is when Hollywood goes out of it's way to say "HEY LOOK GIRLS IT'S A STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER!! SEE GIRLS RULE AND BOYS DROOL!", which is essentially a cheap tactic because once again, it's proving her worth by the gauge of a male character as opposed to her showing her strength and ability in a situation that actually calls for it as Wonder Woman would. And I'm NOT saying this because this is what they're planning to do, I'm saying this because they've already done it...

Lest we forget...

Anyways. Wonder Woman is NOT some Feminist Icon (that'd be Xena) Wonder Woman is an icon for the perfect warrior, her having a vagina is merely a reflection of the culture in which she was raised in, which is Amazonian. Hollywood tends to make their female characters for bitchy for no reason (HEAR ME OUT!), what I mean is that they come off confrontational for no reason outside from the fact that the person talking to them has a penis. I am NOT saying that they should be all "Oh Hi! Please show me your penis. Yes, I will fix you a sandwich.", what I'm saying is that for Hollywood, "strong" female characters equals "I don't need a man!" and that statement becomes the entire foundation of their philosophy, as opposed to being a good person with good values, ect. ect. What I'm saying is that Hollywood can't balance the idea of having a female character WITH a romantic interest that IS NOT completely consumed by it.

What I mean is when a romantic interest is introduced, the female character will resist because "I DON'T NEED A MAN!" but eventually will breakdown and start dating the guy, and eventually that guy becomes a problem for her (either by getting into trouble, kidnapped, threatened ect. ect.) and she realizes that she's distracted by him (this is evident in "Smallville" when Lana was ALWAYS in danger). So she breaks up with him, but eventually realizes she still cares about him blah, blah, blah and it doesn't work for someone like Wonder Woman.

Ya know what, it seems I've gotten WAY off track here and suddenly started ranting about my issue with Female characters in general...I suppose I'll write the article later, so before this becomes that article I suppose I'll end it right here with saying that, it's a DAMN shame that Warner/DC can find someone who's willing to talk about a Lobo movie but Wonder Woman STILL has yet to see the light of day, and it sucks that the WRONG philosophy is being applied to a Wonder Woman TV show (which is merely in discussion). We can only hope that the Justice League movie sets a good precedent for Wonder Woman but my gut tells me not to bet on that...

Oh yeah and Tim Drake was never Robin...

Seriously, fuck you DC Comics...fuck you.


  1. yay a lobo movie i cant wait its going 2 b very good

  2. idiot, get over yourself, dickhead

    1. "idiot, get over yourself, dickhead" Speak for yourself. What he says is mostly true. I think Lobo could make for a phenomenal sci-fi horror character, though.