DEXTER-ity: Season Eight Review & Analysis

And here we are Oh my brothers and only friends, the 2nd to last episode of DEXTER-ity dealing with the final season of "Dexter" and boy oh boy do I have some choice words for this (as Debra Morgan would put it) "Fuckpocalypse".  Unlike most DEXTER-ity episodes, this is actually going to be quite long, so I broke it up into 3 videos and included a few comments below that I thought were hilarious, so after watching my videos you can hopefully get a laugh. Also there are some very important observations I've made that I unfortunately didn't write in my review (because that would have made the video hours long and I would have been ranting and foaming at the mouth by the end of it). Anyways, ENJOY!


Ladies & Gentlemen and others...welcome once again to DEXTER-ity...a Dexter review and analysis as written by Ugo Strange. And here we are ladies and gentlemen, the 2nd to last episode of DEXTER-ity. Yes, you heard that right. I said Second to last, as I will be doing one more video titled "DEXTER-ity: The End", where I'll go through the entire series of "Dexter" as a whole. But for now we'll review the final season of "Dexter", Season 8. As early production began, I was more than unnerved when it was revealed that Yvonne Strahovski would be once again joining the cast as the go-nowhere character of Hannah McKay. In all seriousness, I hate this character more than I hate The Skinner, and I know I say that alot. The most interesting bits of casting was Charolett Rampling as Dr. Evelyn Vogel, a character who in early production articles revealed to be a character to have a link to Dexter's past. Many, including myself, speculated that Dr. Vogel was somehow connected to Dexter's brother Brian Moser, The Ice Truck Killer, however the actual connection she shares with Dexter was by far more interesting and much more logical. But we'll touch on that when we get to the characters. I will say right off the bat that after the 8th episode, ironically and correctly titled "Are We There Yet?", I grew extremely annoyed with this season and decided to seek out spoilers to see if my suffering would pay off to some grand scheme...I'm sorry to announce that such wasn't the case...

Starting off at episode 6, where I usually start writing Dexter-ity, I have to say that this season appears to be suffering from a Travis Marshall level of multiple personality disorder. It's not often when you can tell other writers are writing a show, because usually the writers have a consistent tone that each episode carries, however with this season, SO MANY ideas where crammed in all at once that it's hard to gauge which was supposed to take precedent over the other. We have Dexter dealing with The Grand Architect of The Code, Dr. Vogel, Dexter for all of 4 episodes tracking down The Brain Surgeon, Debra working for her new boss played by Sean Patrick Flannery who has a crush on her, Dexter taking on an apprentice in Zack Hamilton and the return of Hannah Motherf*ckin' McKay...but not only is the main plot busy, the sub-plot is as well, with Quinn trying to make sergeant and Masuka dealing with his daughter...Where do I being ? Normally I'd start with the good points of this Season...but...much to this Season's everlasting shame there isn't a single thing I can think of that's redeeming about it.

GOOD POINTS

#1: DR. EVELYN VOGEL
The only somewhat good thing I can think of in this season is Dr. Evelyn Vogel. The only reason I consider her a good thing is because this was actually a crafty piece of exposition in Dexter's past. You see Harry wasn't a psychologist so how exactly would he be able to handle a budding pyschopath, naturally he'd turn to someone who knows how to handle him. This is the ONLY time I'll compliment the writers of this season for at least providing a logical explanation behind the code and Dexter's rationale. My favorite part of this is when Evelyn asked Dexter why didn't he kill Debra when she found out, explaining that the first rule of The Code, "Don't Get Caught" was to provide Dexter with some wiggle room. As I mentioned before, Dexter is a child, he doesn't see The Code as a series of separate rules but rather one big rule. So in Dexter's mind he's only supposed to kill bad people and not get caught doing it. This hearkens back to Doakes who even realized that something was keeping Dexter from killing him. Having Dr. Vogel be the Grand Architect of The Code and Dexter's somewhat surrogate mother was interesting but sadly wasn't given enough time to really develop. I wish she would have been around in previous seasons, preferably Season 7, so she could really build a rapport with Dexter and become the bridge between Dexter and Debra after she discovers Dexter's a Serial Killer. Despite her being a somewhat good thing this Season, she's not used to full capacity and all the potential for this character was dropped like 3rd period French.

BAD POINTS

#1: THE RETURN OF HANNAH MCKAY
So as I mentioned before I started writing this after episode 6, the episode when Hannah made her return. This is where not only the season but the entire series derailed for me. For those of you who remember, Hannah McKay was an accomplice to a chain of murders in her youth. But because she was a minor and never proven to be complicit in the murders she was never convicted. Fast forward to now where Hannah has enjoys a relatively comfortable lifestyle...at the expense of poisoning several people...whatever. Eventually, this stupid bitch manages to poison the guy writing a book about her and fails to poison Debra Morgan, leading to Dexter turning her in to the police. Not being the most logical person in the world and lacking common sense, Hannah decides NOT to tell the police about Dexter because she's in love with him and manages to escape from police custody on her own. So...at the moment Hannah is an escaped convict...If anything there should have been an INSANE man-hunt out for this bitch, who is already linked to several murders already and NOW there is evidence that she committed at least one herself...and yet...somehow Ms. McKay is able to drug and kidnap Dexter leave him on the side of the highway...

Hannah's reason for doing so is because she wanted to convince Dexter to kill her husband who's name I can't be bothered to remember or look up. Hannah's Husband for all of one episode is instrumental in Hannah's escape from police custody, since apparently he's a connected casino mogul who was able to provide Hannah with a new identity and such. However, Hannah's return is the BIGGEST insult to Dexter fans since the incident in Seasons 5 & 6 where Deus Ex Machina and Lazy Writing kept Dexter from getting caught. The reason I say this about Hannah is for several reasons. Which I'm more than happy to list. By Hannah's return, we're lead to believe that she can just show up in Miami, after having attempted to murder a police officer and expect everything to A-Okay between her and Dexter, because she's in love with him. Which leads me to ask, why is she in love with Dexter ? The man tried to kill you. His sister is going to stop at nothing to see you behind bars and all of his friends are cops. Dating this man is LITERALLY asking to get caught. Furthermore, what common interests do they have ? According to Hannah she doesn't even like killing the same way Dexter does, so by her own admission she's not a psychopath, if anything she's a sociopath, like Lila, but at least Lila was never involved in a string of murders and therefore was using Dexter to experience the thrill through him, until she killed Doakes. Which ultimately led to Dexter killing her. So for those of you keeping score at home, Lila kills Doakes, Dexter kills Lila. Hannah has killed at least 4 innocent people including attempting to kill Debra...and Dexter doesn't kill her? Why ? The answer can't be love. Dexter has EVERY reason to kill Hannah. She knows EVERYTHING about him and can even implicate Debra.

Furthermore, Hannah is NOT a pathological killer, one of the things that made this show work was the fact that Dexter was going face to face with other pathological killers like himself. Brian Moser and Arthur Mitchell were obsessed with killing people much like Dexter, so essentially Dexter was chasing after unchecked versions of himself. Nearly each prior Season established a villain who is in some way an unexplored aspect of Dexter's life. Brian Moser was Dexter's brother, essentially a version of Dexter without Harry's guidance. Lila was the woman Dexter didn't have to hide from, essentially a dark Rita. A woman who wouldn't turn her back on Dexter because of his darkness. But after Lila killed Doakes, Dexter couldn't embrace her. Frank Lundy;

Frank Lundy ? He's a rock star.

Yes, I am going to do that the first time, I say his name, that man freakin' rules! Frank Lundy was Dexter's intellectual equal, lest we all forget, Lundy was willing to admit that Doakes probably wasn't The Bay Harbor Butcher but was bound by the rules because LaGuerta went against protocol. Lundy understood the possible reasons why Dexter does what he does, even noting that The Bay Harbor Butcher must have some kind of code of ethics. Essentially Lundy was Harry without Dexter. Miguel Prado was a sociopath who needed a push to commit murder. Miguel was planning on killing Freebo himself, but when he discovered Dexter had killed Freebo, Miguel was happy to accept Dexter as a friend. However Miguel was a sociopath, essentially Miguel is the friend that Dexter could never have due to varying differences on the definition of justice, and while Dexter only kills murderers, Miguel would kill the murderers and their lawyers and potentially anyone he felt was an obstruction to justice. Arthur Mitchell was Dexter's dark mentor, a shadow of what Dexter could become if he allowed his life to be consumed by his desire to kill. Both Dexter and Arthur were family men who had a pathological desire to kill.

Jordan Chase wasn't Dexter's enemy, but was Lumen's. Lumen represent the good that Dexter does. Dexter had never engage a person who was directly saved by his actions. He would always kill the killers before they could get their victims, but in Lumen's case, Lumen was rescued by Dexter. Lumen was the only person who was normal and didn't see Dexter as a monster. Lumen was Dexter's redemption. Which is why she had to leave after she killed all the men who raped her, she was free of those demons thanks to Dexter. Season 6, Travis Marshall had no connection to Dexter, Season 7, Isaak had no connection to Dexter, and what connection does Hannah have to Dexter ? What missing part of Dexter does Hannah represent ? Because we already did the love thing in Season 2 with Lila. To summarize my point, I'll let Debra explain what Hannah is;

“She is a vortex. She is a black hole. She sucks everything into her being, leaving nothing behind.” 

If you EVER want a POORLY written female character, have them say these exact words about the DUMBEST f*ckin’ thing imaginable! “I’m gonna drug my serial killer ex-boyfriend and leave him on the side of the highway so HOPEFULLY he’ll agree to kill my controlling husband for me…oh wait…I don’t wanna do that, but I already did that…oh well I’ll just tell him I changed my mind because that makes perfect sense.”, And as if Hannah couldn't be any more stupid than she already is, she surprisingly gets even dumber, allow me to explain. So after Harrison gets one of the most infomercial worthy injuries known to man;

F*ckin' moron. You decide which one I'm talking about, it can apply to either of them.

The writers, hellbent on making us like this Mary Sue character, has Hannah take Harrison to the hospital at great risk to herself, now let's stop and re-collect the situation at hand; Hannah is a known fugitive, wanted for murder and attempted murder, a US Marshall is currently hunting for her, her face is on the news and she's currently holed-up in the house of Debra Morgan, the very woman she attempted to murder. With all of those factor working against her, not to mention the fact that she's probably the hottest wanted fugitive in the history of mankind, one would think that if you're a woman on the run the first order of business would be to change your appearance, maybe wear a hat, cut your hair, dye it, after all the news is looking for a blonde woman, but no Hannah can't be bothered to do any of that. So she doesn't change her appearance, AT ALL, which is probably the easiest thing for her to do, Like:

"Hey, Debra could you buy me a bottle of hair dye while you're out?"

 "Sure, Hannah, no fuckin' problem."

No, instead of being logical, Hannah rushes off to the hospital without so much as a baseball hat or sunglasses. But it gets dumber ladies and gentlemen. The Nurse asks Hannah if he's her mother, to which she says "Yes.", no clue why, would I were her and not a complete dumbass I would've said "No, I'm the baby-sitter.", but whatever, Hannah says she's Harrison's mom. But to compound the stupidity of this dumb broad; what name does she use when checking Harrison to the hospital? Does she use a fake name? Something insanely generic to not rouse suspicion ? Anne MacKenzie, Holly Goodman, Kate Jones, Mary Sue (No, that'd be too obvious), dumb ass Hannah McKay puts down Debra Morgan as her name...

Seriously?!

Yes, call attention to the person you're staying with, call attention to Dexter, blow both your covers at the same time, because that's just perfectly logical. People, do you see why I don't like this character? Do you understand just how insurmountably stupid she is? And if you can't see that then I feel sorry for you. Because this is not only bad writing of the highest order but it's cheap and lazy character worship. Oh And I can't, I ABSOLUTELY CAN'T, talk about her WITHOUT mentioning THIS scene;

"I wish she could be my mommy."

#2: ZACK HAMILTON
Why couldn't this have been Louis ? That's the question I kept asking myself the entire season. I appreciated what they tried to do with him, but ultimately this could have very easily been Louis and ya wanna know why? BECAUSE THE MAN DISPLAYED AN INTEREST IN SERIAL KILLERS TO BEGIN WITH! How hard would it have been to have Louis become Vogel's new patient, express a desire to kill people and then have Vogel urge Dexter to teach Louis to code, without being aware of their prior relationship. That would have given us some pay off about Louis's video game and why he'd choose serial killers to be the protagonist rather than the antagonist. Plus we got to spend time with Louis is Season 6, so we've establish his relationship with Dexter and the other characters, and he'd be a familiar face. Not to mention we'd get to see him evolve into a killer, which is something we've haven't seen in this show at all. Louis would work better than some random ass rich kid with daddy issues who's seriously in need of a haircut. But, putting that aside the writers clearly didn't know what to do with Zack since he ended up dead at the end of episode 8. I suppose they did this to give Dexter some sort of personal vendetta against The Brain Surgeon, but he didn't really spend that much time with Zack to really form a connection with him. Lest we forget, Dexter killed his own brother, someone who shared the same trauma as he did, so finding Zack dead, shouldn't really enrage him all that much. If they really wanted Dexter to have a vendetta against The Brain Surgeon they should've had him kill Hannah. Can you imagine, the love of Dexter's life returns only to be killed...it would make a nice call back to Rita and once again reinforcing the mentality that Dexter WILL BE ALONE!

It's not your fault, kid.

#3: LACK OF A STRONG VILLAIN
This is a recent issue but no less important and glaring. Despite the major issues of Season 6, it at least had a clear villain. Travis Marshall. Seasons 7 and 8 both suffer from a lack of a strong villain, and what I mean by strong villain is that sure this season had villains, but none of them were really big fish with any lasting impression. I understand the writers didn't wanna be formulaic in their writing but there is a very solid reason why the formula works. Considering Dexter is only 12 episodes, the writers need to hit certain story beats in a timely fashion and that means having a certain rhythm and formula in mind. All Seasons followed this formula, EXCEPT Season 2, where the roles were reversed, instead of a serial killer being the bad guy, it was a member of The FBI, Special Agent Lundy. Season 2 was a FANTASTIC Season because it followed the formula, just in reverse, but this Season ? Once again we have a main villain being taken out at an awkward time of the season, MORE awkward than when Isaak Sirko was taken out. So just a brief recap, the opening villain of the season was A.J. Yates, the apparent Brain Surgeon, (I say apparent because we all knew early on that he very clearly WASN'T The Brain Surgeon) who was killed at episode 5. After that it was Zack Hamilton introduced in episode 5 and in the following episode Hannah was re-introduced. Now normally, in Dexter, Episode 6 is where certain revelations are made, either the big bad is revealed or Dexter is almost caught, there is always something happening at the 6th episode that drives the main plot forward. However, this season lacked a main plot, because A) The Brain Surgeon didn't last more than 5 episodes, B) Zack wasn't around long enough to make a lasting impression and C) Hannah CAN'T carry a plot by herself.

The reason why Episode 6 is a critical episode is because by now we should see the groundwork being laid for the finale, it's only logical because 6 is the half-way point, since there are 12 episodes in all, and after episode 6, you're left with 6 more episode to finish the story. Which means by Episode 9, all plots need to zero in on the central story. That didn't happen here because our focus is all over the place. Dexter is trying to juggle his new apprentice, trying to reignite his relationship with Hannah, Debra is trying to catch Hannah, AGAIN and Vogel was pretty much shoved into the background, which is unfortunate because Vogel's addition to the cast was actually a crafty piece of Dexter's history that in retrospect makes logical sense and wasn't really explored the way it could have been. All in all, I can't see Hannah as the main villain or a threat because she's obviously not, as much as the writers and producers would like to tell us she is. When I think Dexter villains, I think of Dexter meeting his match, facing off against people who are either smarter than him, stronger than him, who has more resources than him, or someone who is just downright craftier than him, and Dexter having to step up to the plate and take on a new challenge. The Brain Surgeon made his return in episode 8, which leaves 4 episodes to deal with his arc as a villain, understand his motivations, origins and so on. The problem is, he's treated more or less as an afterthought, with Hannah escaping a U.S. Marshall taking the driver's seat and why? Because Hannah has thus far been the primary focus on this Season, because prior to her appearance, there wasn't much of a focus.

Now I know what you're all thinking, The Brain Surgeon did become the main villain later on in the season. The only problem is Dexter antagonized the situation. Saxon's motivation to get his mother back in his life was clear and he said numerous times that if he wanted Vogel dead, she would be dead. But Dexter being the moron that he is kept beating the drum that Saxon was going to kill her, Saxon only killed her because Dexter intervened. But at this late in the game, with the focus shifted in every direction, it hard to engage him as a villain. There just wasn't much there for us to see him as a MAJOR threat to Dexter.

I'm The Bad Guy...you can tell because I look evil.

#4: ARE WE THERE YET?
Quite possibly the MOST appropriately titled episode in ANY series EVER! Why ? Because it's saying EVERYTHING I was thinking the entire time I watched this episode. The eponymous "There" being the central plot of this Season. By this episode "Dexter" quickly became The Hannah McKay Show featuring Dexter as her character absorbed A LARGE portion of the episode and once again, I'm sorry but Hannah McKay is NOT interesting enough to carry an episode or a Season. Several developments did happen in this episode though, Debra finds Hannah...but decides NOT to bring her in...Dexter finds Zack...but finds that Zack didn't kill Cassie...Hannah is all set up to leave Miami...but Dexter tells her to stay...Masuka's Daughter gets a job at Miami Metro...and then reveals that she's New Agey...Dexter thinks everything is A-Okay...and then finds Zack has been killed by The Brain Surgeon in his house. The reason why this episode is SO frustrating is because it didn't feel like a Dexter episode AT ALL. It felt like a REALLY bad sit-com about a serial killer family.

This entire episode, in fact this entire Season Dexter was written COMPLETELY OUT OF CHARACTER! And I can now, without a shadow of a doubt tell that the writers don't find Hannah interesting at all, you wanna know how? Because the writers have to CONSTANTLY insert dialogue and monologues about Dexter's love for her, but we don't really SEE or FEEL the love between the two. Let's back track a little bit and go to Season 5, when Dexter showed Lumen the bodies of the girls and offered Lumen the knife to prove she could trust him, that was love through an action. After Lumen's first kill, Dexter and Lumen made love, which was an expression of her gratitude towards Dexter and the exhilaration of taking a life, and for Dexter it was redemption. Lumen and Dexter's relationship had grown from being reluctant Master and willing apprentice, to brother and sister, to romantically involved, all of this was done through actions. When Lumen first shot Dan The Dentist and then called Dexter to help her because she had no one else to turn to, to when Lumen told Dexter about the marks on Astor's friend, to when Lumen and Dexter finally jumped each other's bones. All of this was done without Dexter expressing any romantic feelings for Lumen verbally or internally, we just saw the natural progression of their relationship.

But with Hannah, all of a sudden he can't think of anything except her...Why? What lasting impression did she make on him? I know, I'm talking about Hannah a lot but quite frankly she's the ONLY THING WE CAN TALK ABOUT SINCE ZACK WAS KILLED AND THE ENTIRE STORY REVOLVED AROUND HER! It's true that The Brain Surgeon was the main villain of the season, but he wasn't consistently present through-out the Season to make it known that he was the main bad guy. Considering that after Yates was killed, The Brain Surgeon murders apparently stopped. How difficult would it have been for Dexter to kill Yates, think it was all over, ONLY for another Brain Surgeon Murder to occur, and if we want the victim to be Zack, we can totally do that. That would have surely moved the plot forward, because in what way is Hannah moving the plot forward? You see when a plot moves forward, EVERY single thread narrows in on one solution. Let's take Star Wars for example, every single plot thread narrowed in on destroy the Death Star, once the Death Star was destroyed, the movie was over. YOU CANNOT have a plot where every single thread has a different solution. Let me explain. So in Dexter there's The Hannah Plot...the solution being keep her from getting caught, then there's The Brain Surgeon Thread, the solution being find The Brain Surgeon before he kills again...both of those can be solved WITHOUT INTERSECTING AT ALL! And therefore ONE has to take dominance over the other! Sadly the writers chose to make Hannah The Dominate Thread...which leads me to ask;

Are we there yet ?

#5: THE BRAIN SURGEON
Not to toot my own horn, but I never thought Vogel was The Brain Surgeon the main reason being that it'd be too obviously no matter what route you took. People suspected Elway, and even Matthews and oddly enough Quinn...however I knew The Brain Surgeon wasn't going to be any character we knew, so when it was revealed to be NOT Ryan Gosling, I was less then surprised because at that point in the season I just wanted this thing to be over. The Brain Surgeon failed as a villain because he had no real beef with Dexter, even going so far as to offer Dexter a truce...with Dexter clumsily misunderstanding this as a veiled threat because he really wants to kill Saxon. Saxon just wasn't really threatening and we never quite understood what his motives for killing people was. Saxon killed his brother because he got more attention than he did. Okay, that explains that, but why does he cut open people's skull and remove a very specific piece of their brain? Furthermore, why did he force one man to kill another man only to kill that man? Furthermore why did he bludgeon Cassie, frame Zack for it and then kill Zack? In short, The Brain Surgeon was the most static and illogical killer in Dexter history. I just don't quite understand what his motives are. I mean, if it's just because he's a psychopath, then fine, cool, and dandy, but...it takes quite a bit of effort to saw open someone's head and mail a piece of brain to your mother. What exactly was his method of choosing victims? Every previous villain of Dexter had clear motivations...even if it was something as extravagant as trying to end the world...

If Saxon's goal was to basically send a message to his mother, why murder Zack and leave him in Dexter's apartment ? Why not just show up at Vogel's house and be like "Hi, Mom, I'm not dead. Teach me how to be like Dexter.". It wasn't as if Saxon was trying to hide his identity, he was waiting around for Vogel to show up at that diner...so...why not just re-introduce himself? Saxon just never made sense to me. When he first appeared on the scene as Cassie's not boyfriend to make Dexter interested in her, and he didn't seem like anything. Then all of a sudden he becomes super serial killer man...and so obviously creepy and robotic even Quinn picks up on the fact that the guy is weird. And as I said before, Quinn makes Barney Fife look like Jack Bauer. Furthermore, how stupid is Saxon? After having his face plastered all over the news, decides to go after Dexter...instead of just leave town...after we've established that Saxon is known for drifting from place to place. No, Saxon stupidly decides to go after Dexter, not even questioning how those tapes managed to find their way in the hands of the news. I just don't get this guy...

So did he just stand there at the waiting just waiting for Dexter? That must've been awkward.

#6: THE NEUTERING OF DEXTER
As if the "Mommy" comment wasn't most offensive thing on this show, this has got to be the WORST offense of them all. I, like many Dexter fans envisioned a day where Dexter wouldn't need his Dark Passenger. We all imagined it'd come to him like a revelation, after seeing Trinity and The Tooth Fairy from one of the better episodes of Season 6, Dexter would one day realize that he can't keep feeding his Dark Passenger without neglecting Harrison...of course this revelation would be impossible with the world's greatest and hottest baby sitter Jamie Batista. But I digress, after all the whole thesis of this show was Dexter slowly discovering his humanity. Unlike most of you, I never likened Dexter to a complete pyschopath, Dexter, as I've said many time before is a child. His understanding of certain things are immature. It's that Dexter lacked emotions it's just he couldn't process them in a way he could understand them. Dexter's was trapped in his childhood because that's essentially where his emotional development halted. Personally, I was hoping that Dexter would finally come to a crossroads where the urge to kill was replaced by something much more profound. How unfortunate that when that day finally came it was the most underwhelming, moronic, illogical, travesties in "Dexter" history.

So...I'm gonna let you go.

Throughout the entire tail-end of this Season, Dexter has been reciting the mantra that killing Saxon was the most important thing he needed to do before heading off to Argentina with Mary Hannah Sue McKay. Stating that there was no other way and yet, when he finally has Saxon strapped down, and Saxon is ready to accept his fate, he decides to FINALLY let justice take it's course ONLY FOR IT TO FAIL!

After wanting to kill Saxon for Zack Hamilton and Vogel and apparently Cassie, Dexter does the dumbest thing ever and let's him go? WHY? Because he wants to get back to Hannah. His love for Hannah has apparently cured him of any and all desires to kill. It wasn't any choice between being a good father to Harrison, it wasn't a revelation that people he cares about keeps dying and he's the common factor, no it was some blonde who attempted to kill his sister...she's the reason why Dexter doesn't want to kill anymore. Look, say what you want about Season 5, but Season 5 was GREAT character development for Dexter especially when he got to see Astor again and admitted he loved her. That scene was amazing because Dexter had looked inside himself and found genuine compassion for someone and expressed it, much to his own surprise. Each season we see Dexter making those revelations when the chips were down. When Brian Moser urged Dexter to kill Debra, Dexter couldn't compell himself to do it because he was fond of Debra. In Season Two, Dexter was traumatized after killing Brian and couldn't kill anyone for awhile, furthermore Season Two was when Dexter started realizing that he wasn't emotionally dead and felt himself actually caring about people and it scared the hell out of him. In Season Three, not only did Dexter marry Rita but he was having a child with her. When The Skinner captured Dexter, Dexter's determination to escape that situation was driven by wanting to see Harrison come into the world. Season Four, Dexter had everything and stated that he'd risk exposure than betray his family, when Dexter said it out loud, it confused him and made him realize that he truly does care about Rita, Astor, Cody, his sister and so on. Season 5, Dexter was able to display compassion for another human being and take on a fight that wasn't his own for the good of someone else. Furthermore, Dexter was able to express concern for Astor and her friend by beating the crap out of that girl's father. Season 6, Dexter came face to face with an old version of himself living in a retirement home, and Dexter against realized he wouldn't want Harrison to know what he is, in a like manner he didn't want The Tooth Fairy's Son to know who he was.

However after that, suddenly Dexter became love-struck with Hannah because...they have so much in common...they're both murderers...would that were the case then shouldn't murder be the thing to bring the closer together rather than causing Dexter to stop killing completely ? Again, the ONLY reason I can think of is because she's hot. They have nothing common, of course it's hard to have anything in common with Hannah considering she has all the personality of a cardboard box...which is an insult to cardboard boxes. Sadly, Dexter's love for Hannah was neutered him. We were fine with Dexter coming to these revelations over characters he was constantly around and interacted with. But suddenly Hannah pops up and Dexter drops a cheekswab and now he can't get her out his mind. Dexter doesn't want to kill anymore because he wants to be with Hannah? Isn't Hannah a killer ? Why not, Dexter doesn't wanna kill because he's worried about the example he'd set for Harrison? No, suddenly Dexter has all of these emotions not for a character we know and love, not for an innocent like Astor and Cody or Harrison (his own son), no, for some random ass blonde chick he dated for all of a month (maybe?) who TRIED TO MURDER HIS SISTER! This is offensive to ALL of the rich character development that has centered around characters who have been instrumental in Dexter's life and made a lasting impression on him. But somehow, all of Dexter motivation is NOT centered around his son, NOT centered around his sister, but is centered around the hot piece of tail Dexter gets to bone every night...pardon my mild vulgarity; but quite frankly Dexter is p*ssy whipped.

#7: EVERYONE INCLUDING THE WRITERS ARE STUPID
This is sadly nothing new as Miami Metro has proven it's self to be the single most inept police force on television. Let's ignore the fact that Miami Metro has YET to notice a very disturbing pattern when it comes to Dexter in which people close to him end up getting unceremoniously murdered or suspiciously go missing (Doakes who was suspicious of Dexter, Lila, suddenly ends up dead after returning home to London, Miguel Prado, Rita, his own wife being murdered by a serial killer who had no known connection to Dexter, Stan Liddy ends up dead when Quinn KNEW he was looking into Dexter before he died, Jordan Chase, who people knew had Dexter in some private coaching sessions, LaGuerta who was also suspicious of Dexter, Hannah McKay a known murderer suddenly becomes Dexter's girlfriend, and now Evelyn Vogel, a noted friend of Dexter's family), ignoring that fact, every single BAD decision that could be made by someone is made with GREAT zeal and youthful abandon. The most glaring of these issue are of course the issue with Law Enforcement. I once complimented US Marshall Clayton & Elway as the only intelligent people on the show, however I should have specified that by saying "That unfortunately isn't saying much.", but US Marshall Clayton proved himself to be the dumber of the two. Why do I say this? Well the answer is quite simple.

After Hannah McKay, who is NOT wearing a disguise takes Harrison to the hospital and is spotted by a nurse, US Marshall Clayton doesn't immediately request the camera footage. When he becomes suspicious of Dexter he doesn't get a warrant to bug his apartment or anything of the sort. When he becomes suspicious of Debra he doesn't stake out her house or anything of the sort. Say what you guys want about Season 5, but Stan Liddy was the ONLY person to effectively catch Dexter, of course through deus ex machina, Liddy was found out, but at least he was smart in going about catching him. But this guy was clearly horrible at his job, and the final nail in the coffin was when he freed Oliver Saxon, which I'll elaborate on more. Why is this so stupid? Because US Marshall Clayton is a US Marshall, it's his job to be on the look out for wanted criminals. Now I understand that the man hunt for Oliver Saxon just started, but considering that US Marshall Clayton put Hannah's face on the news it'd be in his best interest to watch the news to keep abreast of the situation and make sure the news was continuing to air Hannah's picture. Now if you're saying to yourself that that's a stretch, then look at it this way, a random ass Nurse was able to finger Hannah McKay IMMEDIATELY when she walked in, but a US Marshall wouldn't be able to finger Oliver Saxon when that's his fuckin' job! Yeah.

Getting back to Oliver Saxon, why exactly did he kill Clayton? All he had to do was let Clayton free him and then explain that Dexter set up him and was planning to kill him and frame him for Vogel's murder. After all, Saxon's DNA wasn't found at the crime scene or at Cassie's crime scene, at the moment Oliver is looking squeaky clean, and if Clayton didn't believe him, all Oliver would have to say was "Hannah" and bingo, Oliver could walk out of that situation smelling like guest room soap. I mean after all, if you're a US Marshall and you walk into a room and find a guy tied to a chair with a bunch of surgical blade next to him, the immediate assumption is this guy was kidnapped and some people are gonna come back to kill him. Long story short, you assume he's innocent because he's the one tied up! And considering that with Oliver being tied up and appearing innocent, he could have easily pegged Dexter as making him commit those murders, and him packing up his apartment was a way to try to escape and when Dexter found out, he kidnapped Oliver and attempted to kill him. After all in the videos we only see Oliver, how hard would it have been for Oliver to say that Dexter had a gun on him and used the videos as leverage to keep Oliver from going to the police. And AGAIN! Clayton would believe all of this because Oliver was the one tied up, and Dexter and Debra are the one harboring a KNOWN FUGITIVE! Basically, the writers missed a MAJOR opportunity to turn up the heat on Dexter and have everything collapse around him like a house of cards. This would have immediately injected some much needed tension into the situation and increased the prospect of Dexter being caught because NOW Dexter has to explain just why in the hell Saxon was tied up and just why in the hell he and Debra are harboring Hannah McKay. Especially after Hannah tried to kill her. But instead the writers need to prove to use that Saxon is a bad guy and have him kill Clayton because reasons. No, the real reason is the writers don't have the balls to have Dexter to get anywhere close to caught after they blew that load in Seasons Two and Five. Which fuckin' sucks because the promotional trailer for this Season featured Johnny Cash's song "God's Gonna Cut You Down", which is about not being able to hide your darkest deeds from being exposed. But from what's happened this season, the song from "Bodyguard" would have been a better fit.



That...that actually worked...

Debra, this season has been, to put it in her words "a fuckin' moron." Let's ignore the fact that she's allowing the woman who tried to kill her to not only stay in her house but is actually eating her food and complimenting her on her cooking.

Ya know, you're kinda cool when you're not trying to kill me.

No, Debra is a fuckin' moron because she is by far THE WORST LIAR in the history of mankind. Allow me to set this up. So after the Nurse immediately makes Hannah McKay at the hospital. and dumb ass Hannah lists Debra Morgan as her name, US Marshall Clayton, who doesn't pull security footage, instead decides to go see Debra about it, which leads to this scene, which I can only describe as the single worst lie ever told in television history.

You're totally lying but like...ya know...you're like kinda hot and I'm a total moron...so you like...wanna see my gun?

Not only is this stupid, but Debra doesn't even bring this up to Hannah and say;

"You stupid bitch! You totally put us both under the microscope!"

"Oh sorry Deb, I really love your brother."

In what bizzaro world are the writers living in where that wouldn't IMMEDIATELY cause a US Marshall to slap cuffs on her right then and there for being such a fuckin' moron ? I suppose the kind of bizzaro world where US Marshalls don't look at security tapes. It's amazing how this never gets brought up again.

Hi, I'm looking for this bitch and she looks EXACTLY like this because she's too f*ckin' stupid to change her appearance. Can you help me find her?

Evelyn Vogel is an idiot. Why is she an idiot? Because she constantly states that she'll help Saxon, but she doesn't make any attempt to explain why he and Dexter are different. They're different because of the code! All Vogel had to do was explain why the code works and sell him on the idea that he still gets to kill people. Killing is killing whether you're killing innocent people our serial killers. Hell, Saxon had no problem killing Zach Hamilton, so Saxon shouldn't have an issue with that. Furthermore Trinity didn't have a stinkin' code and understood that he'd need some kind of cover. Not to mention Trinity was married not once but twice. Whenever Vogel was near Saxon she acted like she had no clue what she was doing and was always saying stuff to piss him off. She's an idiot.

Cassie is the most stereo-typical dumbass female character ever. So Jamie introduces Dexter to Cassie and after an AMAZINGLY "interesting" and "intimate" conversation they share; Cassie suddenly becomes obsessed with Dexter...Why? Honestly, why ? Other than the writers ejaculating their obsession with Dexter on the face this poor cannon fodder of a character.

Dexter Obsession...Dexter Obsession ALL. OVER. HER. FACE.

THE CHARACTERS
As far as new characters go, we have Jake Elway played by gruff voice having Sean Patrick Flannery. I really like Elway. He's cool, calm, collected, a straight-shooter who's willing to put up with a lot of crap but at the same time knows when to call bullshit. I wish his character would have been around in the last few seasons as he could have been very instrumental in finding out who Dexter was. The sad reality about Elway was, he wasn't used in any real fashion until a very late clutch player in the finale. However the real reason to like Elway was the fact that he told Debra off not once, but three separate times and 2 in the same episode.

Elway unfortunately wasn't the smartest character this season, but he saw through Debra's bullshit and kept his eye on the dollars, not having any personal alliances with anyone except himself and his family. Unfortunately, in this show everyone needs to be turned into an ignorant boob when dealing with The Morgans and to have Elway awkwardly show up at Debra's house to make some kind of "apology" insulted the character we've briefly established in few episodes ago. Elway's a private eye, he should've been sitting outside of Debra's house in an unmarked van with binoculars, a camera and one of those listening devices. It's a shame he wasn't around for previous seasons.

How could this review be complete mentioning Jamie Batista, the world's GREATEST baby-sitter. Like fellow reviewer Paul Tassi of Unreality Magazine stated, it's atonishing that she's still alive. If they really wanted to make The Brain Surgeon as major threat, it would've been best for him to kill Jamie instead of Cassie, after all, Jamie is a character we all know and someone love, and she's linked to a central character so that raises a conflict...but of course the writers don't have the balls to pull that off. In early production of this season, Amiee Garcia teased that we'd be seeing more Jamie this Season. I had to cover my ears to avoid hearing the deafening collective yawn from fans of the show, as we all knew her role was only to keep Harrison in the dark and there was nothing else to her character. And shock of all shocks, we were 100% correct.

The MOST surprising thing about this Season was Jamie apparently getting a letter from a school and my IMMEDIATE reaction was "Wait, Jamie has a life outside of taking care of Harrison, WHA?!". And Jamie being the incredibly hot but dumb as four rocks woman she is, decides NOT to go because she's in love with Quinn...yes, the guys she did nothing but argue with for several episodes. Quinn was probably tired of sharing a bed with Harrison every time her and Jamie slept together.

Jamie, you're hot and all but screaming out Harrison's name while we're having sex is kinda creepy.

SUB-PLOT
Subplots this seasons were scatter-brained to say the least. Once again, say what you want about Season 5, but The Santa Muerte Sub Plot that season was PERFECT, since it foreshadowed Debra's actions in the season finale, letting Lumen and Dexter go. However this season, NO subplot had any substance or thematic meaning...it was basically page filler. Rule one of being a writer is a don't waste a scene and a LOT of scenes were wasted...so let's just dive in.

MASUKA'S DAUGHTER
So after 7 seasons we FINALLY get a Masuka sub-plot, 7 too late...If I haven't made it clear, Vince Masuka is one of my FAVORITE characters on this show and has consistently shown himself to be the most interesting character of the series. He enjoys a very active sex life and has an insane tattoo on his back. So when Masuka got his own subplot...well...I was extremely annoyed that it was in the final season of Dexter and we wouldn't see any lasting affects of it. Masuka dealing with his daughter could have been VERY interesting in Season 6, as the landscape for Dexter changed to Dexter raising Harrison as a single father. Dexter and Masuka could've shared a mutual apprehension about being able to take care of their children. Of course Dexter is unable to even care about Harrison because of Jamie. However, with this subplot, we're told that Masuka's daughter is a pot-smoker and works at a topless bar...seeing her boobs aside;

That's pretty much all she was good for...

;this went absolutely nowhere but the basic predictable bullshit that's so lame it's almost as if it came from the latest after school special on ABC Family...this subplot is so bad it couldn't even be addressed in the finale. She's not standing next to Masuka comforting him about Debra being shot? She's nowhere to be found...which brings me to...

QUINN MAKING SERGEANT
I'm not even sure what to say about this one...I'd like to start off by saying that I like Quinn. When he first showed up in Season 3 he was a smart ass, savvy former narc agent. The kind of dirty cop who understood the game and was willing to play it. In Seasons 4 and 5, Quinn has proven himself to be fairly crafty and aside from being a dirty cop, he was more than willing to do the right thing even if it hurt him...lets we forget, Quinn was the ONLY one in the station who managed to link Dexter & Kyle Butler, Quinn had Dexter under surveillance, something that Doakes did but made it known he was looking into Dexter. But then Season 6 rolled around and Quinn became...at this point, I can't even call him a joke as it's not even funny or embarrassing, he's become outright incompetent. Let me set this up, Batista, now Luetinate of Miami Metro encourages Quinn to take the Sargent's exam. Quinn is content with being a detective, but with encouragement from Harrison's girlfriend Jamie Batista and Batista himself, Quinn decides to take the exam. However, Chief Matthews tells Batista to promote Black Police Officer Woman because the last 2 Black guys they had at the station were killed, Doakes & Mike Anderson. Batista decides to promote Black Police Officer Woman and then she's NEVER seen again. Which I found hilarious on the AV Club's website where in their reviews they had Angie Miller sightings listed to see if she actually appeared in any episodes prior to her promotion. She did, but not in any capacity that would show her actually doing her job or moving the plot forward. People, I cannot stress just how pointless and stupid this entire thing is. If it was set up and maybe to light a fire under Quinn to track down Zack Hamilton and then discover that Zack is in league with Dexter and ultimately discover Dexter's secret (WHICH QUINN KNOWS BY THE WAY!, Quinn is completely aware that Dexter killed Stan Liddy...but apparently forgot that for whatever reason), but no this wasn't a set up to any grand scheme, it was just filler...shameless, useless, time consuming filler. And at this point in the game with it being the final season and all, you can't even call this character development since we won't be seeing any lasting ramifications of it all. I could say more about this, but to say more would give it more thought than the writers did themselves.

All that potential...

CONCLUSION
Long story short, this seaon of Dexter is the biggest betrayal since The Avatar asked "What's a Paladin", this is the biggest betrayal since Spider-Man cut a deal with fuckin' Mephisto. In the 8 years this show has been on the air the writers and producers didn't somehow foresee that this was quite possibly the dumbest thing ever? The sad fact is, I actually think they did put thought into this, which leads me to wonder what exactly how Jeff Lindsay feels about this. Expectations were low for the finale but somehow this finale had managed to dig an even deeper hole that formed into a bottomless pit of forced dialogue, blatant stupidity, shameless character worship that not even the laziest fanfic writing hacks would hope to emulate;

"I love Hannah."

;yes Harrison, you made the clear the first time you said it. This finale so void of tension and any sense of urgency that any attempt at being emotionally invested in what was happening became physically painful. This season was offensive to the last 6 years of Dexter Seasons that dealt with Dexter growing as a human being. All of this was undone when the writers decides that Dexter's humanity would come at the expense of his sister, his step children and his own child. All of those character become background noise and sadly easily manipulated parts to allow Dexter to continue being this shelfish, negilgent asshole. In short Dexter went from a series about a serial killer slowly becoming human and then suddenly transformed into "You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown" featuring Dexter. Since EVERY single character absolves Dexter of ANY wrong doing, even when what he's doing is blatantly wrong!

At the end of the finale they tried to give Dexter a self-sacrifice moment where he realized that just MAYBE he's the problem...a relevation he already had at the end of Season 4, by the way, only for Dexter to still be alive...effectively making him a deadbeat dad and leaving his son in the custody of wanted fugative who attempted to murder his sister...who by episode 6, Dexter had already decided he didn't give two shits about. This is made evident when Dexter throws his sister into the ocean instead of allow her to be buried and mourned by the people who actually gave a fuck about her, like Quinn and Batista and Masuka and Matthews, nope. Dexter has to have it his way. And I could address the fact that NO ONE in Miami Metro, including Quinn expressed any feelings about not having a body to bury. Especially after Debra and Quinn recindled their relationship. Nope, everyone's perfectly fine with this. So that's all there is folks...Hannah McKay gets to fuckin' live, Debra is now festering at the bottom of ocean where barcincles are eating her flesh, Jamie Batista doesn't have her boyfriend Harrison anymore, Batista is still in charge of Miami Metro and Dexter, in true psychopath nature is a dead beat dad living out his days in a cabin somewhere...somehow...what did he make a phone call to Robert Forester before he drove his boat into a fuckin' hurricane? What's this all amount to? Well it amounts to the fact that the smartest person in this entire series turned out to be a Random Ass Nameless Nurse Who Actually Watches The News And Managed To Identify An Escaped Convict, She gets a gold star for life.

The Smartest Character Of Season 8 and we don't even know your name...

HERE ARE SOME COMMENTS THAT MADE ME "LOL", ENJOY!

Killax7 basically sums up the writer's mentality...

Batists running a Blockbuster

This killed me...

Tricia Hannam, you rule!

The Dexter we've come to know and love died a long time ago...

Apparently...

My thoughts EXACTLY!

Yep.

I'm ending this right here because this is proof positive of exactly what I've been saying all along!