Why We HATE Hannah McKay

Okay kids and kittens, I've been trying to turn this into a video BUT it's been a hard minute since I wrote an article here (and whenever I try to record a video it ends up being somewhere around 22 minutes and I end up ranting), also I'm a lot more eloquent when I'm writing my thoughts, rather than verbally expressing them. So, if you guys have watched my DEXTER-ity episode for Season 7, you'll know that I didn't particularly care for the character of Hannah McKay. Much to my anger, Hannah McKay is back for Season 8 (oh goody...-_-).

Anyway, I know I'm not alone in the utter hatred of Hannah McKay, BUT some of us have EXTREME difficulty putting into words WHY we don't like Hannah McKay. SO as a courtesy to you guys, I've decided to list the MANY valid reasons we don't like Hannah McKay, so you won't have trouble listing them. Enjoy after the break! By the way, SOME SPOILERS AHEAD! SO IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED SEASON 8 UP TO THIS DATE, DO NOT READ (not that it really matters because you're not missing anything)

HANNAH MCKAY IS A MARY SUE
 For those of you who don't know what a "Mary Sue" is;

Mary Sue is a negative term used in fanfiction and literary criticism to describe an original character that is often overly idealized or assumed to be a projection of the author. When used by a male author, the character is referred to as a Gary Stu or Marty Stu.

 Hannah McKay ISN'T a projection of the writers, but I have a feeling she's a projection of every over-zealous Dexter Fangirl who ever fantasized about bumpin' uglies with Dexter in the kill room. That scene from Season 7 just views like a scene from any lazy, sex-riddled Dexter Fanfic out there.  The reason I call Hannah a "Mary Sue" is because she suffers no consequences for her actions and is not directly involved in her problems.

Flashing back to Season 7, Hannah McKay killed Sal Price, the guy writing a book about her. When a guy writing a book about you up and dies and you were the last person who talked to him, that kinda makes you look suspicious, rather than being suspicious, Miami Metro kinda scratched their heads in puzzlement and went on about their merry little way. Hannah McKay got off scott free WITHOUT setting off any bells or whistles (hard to believe, considering the fact that she's been linked to SEVERAL murders in her youth). And yes, I understand that she used a poison that wasn't traceable in toxicology and hid Sal's pen, but all Miami Metro would have to do is subpena her garden and boom, Hannah's screwed.

Hannah is idealized in a sense that she doesn't have any visible flaws. She's beautiful and well liked by just about everybody, except Debra (because she's a jealous bitch...). In short Hannah has no real depth to make her character interesting because everything about her is surface level. Hannah is categorized as a sociopath, but she shows no sociopathic tendencies in any dangerous fashion. For example, Lila was Dexter's perfect woman as well, however Lila was a sociopath by proxy and kind of insane (that being her flaw). But it seem Hannah is only a sociopath when she's allowed to be a sociopath and then a normal person when she's supposed to be a normal person...which again, where's her flaw. It's not like Hannah is wrestling with an urge to kill like Dexter, according to Hannah she doesn't like killing people. So she doesn't like killing people, has killed (and attempted to) MANY people, and has no problem with Dexter killing people...right...

Hi, my name is Hannah McKay and like I'm like your perfect woman.

If Hannah had some kind of issue, like maybe she hates kids or something, that'd make her character a little more believable as a sociopath, but nope. She's just this perfect woman for Dexter and in any other TV show this would be comedic, but here it's frustrating because the show is constantly pointing out just how perfect Hannah is for Dexter in every way, shape and form, making us scratch our heads going "She can't be a sociopath and be this normal.". BUT Of course, Hannah being The Mary Sue that she is CAN be the world's most normal sociopath.

HANNAH MCKAY IS A "VICTIM" (FORCED SYMPATHY)
One of the main reasons I hate Hannah is because the writers WANT us to feel sorry for her, but we can't because she's emotionally wishy-washy. What I mean is this; reflecting back on Season 7 when Hannah's father showed up and destroyed Hannah's nursery, that was a moment where we were meant to sympathize with her, watching poor, defenseless Hannah (yes, the woman who went on a murder spree with a nutcase and poisoned several people shortly after) get insults hurled at her by her drunken louse of a father. We're meant to sympathize, but in reality we're all sitting there wondering why she didn't kill him herself. Maybe it would've been too obvious but er...she straight up killed Sal Price, the guy who was writing a book about her and had just left her house and suddenly had a heart attack...so yeah considering how badly Miami Metro sucks at their job, Hannah would've gotten away with it.

They were big meany heads who deserved it!

But no, Hannah cowers and leaves Dexter to do the dirty work. This happens again when Hannah shows up with her (what'ya know!) abusive, controlling husband Miles Castner, unable to kill him herself, she leaves Dexter to do the dirty work once again, only this time she does kill Miles (only after defending herself against him, cause he was a big meany head) and then she tells Dexter that she doesn't enjoy killing and does it because she needs to, because she's forced to! Yes, which is exactly why she killed that old lady, and Sal Price and all of the other people she killed during the murder spree.

I wouldn't be poking fun if it wasn't for the fact that every time Debra calls Hannah out on her bullshit, Hannah has some speech about how she's a victim and how she's doing what she gotta do to survive...basically "I'm not a bad girl, I'm a good girl who's made some bad choices.". That line ONLY works if you had a life like Mitsuko Suoma, your dad almost letting you drown in a swimming pool isn't a reason to go on a massive killing spree. Oh and for those of you who doubt me on that being her sociopathic origins, I offer you now to tell me what made her the way she is...

Still waiting...

NOTHING made her the way she is, yet we're fed this "Doing what I gotta do to survive." bullshit as if that explains everything, and to which I reply, "SURVIVE WHAT?!" Who or what is victimizing Hannah? She's killed several people and has gotten away with it and managed to escape from police custody, without changing her hair, or putting in contacts or anything of the sort and somehow still feels the need to defend herself when someone points out that she's a murderer. The thing is we can't feel sorry for her because there's nothing to feel sorry for her about, what about her grips us emotionally? What traumatic event made her this person? Nothing, absolutely nothing. There's nothing there to engage us, to grip us or anything.

DEXTER & HANNAH MCKAY/ANAKIN SKYWALKER & PADME'
I mentioned this before, but Dexter and Hannah's relationship had NO natural progression. Reflecting back to Season One when Dexter was actually unnerved about having sex with Rita, because he was afraid she'd see the real him, when they finally did, Rita stayed with Dexter, much to his surprise. Lila was able to see through Dexter's smoke screens and openly called him out on his bullshit at The N.A. meetings. Lila was also the first person to learn Dexter's origins and was present when Dexter faced down Santos Jimenez. Lila accepted Dexter, so when they finally got down and dirty, it seemed logical because Dexter finally found someone who understood him, his pains and his struggles. His relationship with Lumen went through several evolutions, starting off with Dexter being her savior and feeling responsible for her, after saving her from Boyd Fowler. Then their relationship shifted to a Master/Student relationship, when Lumen tracked down Dan The Dentist and called Dexter to help her.

After that, Lumen, being so overcome with gratitude to Dexter had to express herself in the only way she knew how, raw, passionate, sex. After all, she had just come from a place of being raped and tortured by a group of men and her killing them and having sex with Dexter was a way of not only thanking Dexter but reclaiming control over her sexuality. ALL OF THESE RELATIONSHIPS WERE EXPRESSED WITH ACTIONS AND VERY FEW WORDS! Dexter didn't need to tell us how much he cared about Rita, it shown in his actions, how he interacted with her and spoke to her and her children, ect. ect.

But with Hannah, we're being told how much he loves her but...we don't really see it. Much like Anakin and Padme'. Can you give me a specific moment in The Star Wars Prequels (assuming that you actually remember them) where Anakin and Padme' clicked! Where it was obvious that they were in love and you could tell this just by looking at them? No, you probably can't, because all they really did was stand (or sit) around and talk about their undying love for each other.

I told that bitch I don't like sand, bitches love guys who don't like sand.

I'm not saying that saying "I love you." is bad or anything, but if it's said constantly, we call that a little thing called OVERCOMPENSATING! Reflecting back to The ORIGINAL Star Wars Trilogy, we understood that Leia and Han's constant bickering back and forth was really misguided love-jabs, so when they have that scene in "Empire" and Leia finally tells Han she loves him, it's real and heartbreaking.

Hannah, do you like sand?

Dexter is constantly mentioning how he can't think when she's around, and he can't stop thinking about her, and how much he loves her, and needs her and Why ? Well because the actual chemistry isn't there and therefore we must be told they're in love because the writers have lost the ability to show us they're in love. They're in love and we just have to accept it, the same way we accept Anakin and Padme' being in love, despite the fact we can't pinpoint the exact minute when they were in love. However if we're equating love with sex, then it was when Dexter had sex with Hannah. Or when he dropped the cheek swab because he was so taken by her beauty...*sigh*...

The point I'm trying to make is that Hannah is a drain on the show because she's so paramount to the plot and yet does not advance it AT ALL.There are no stakes for us to care about her character. If she gets caught or dies, we as the viewers won't be emotionally invested in this because she's not emotionally investable. She's just hot (and not all that much if you ask me, but just my opinion). Which brings me to...

HANNAH MCKAY IS A FORCED LIKEABLE CHARACTER
You ever watch a TV show and a real solid member of the cast decides to leave and the producers replace them with someone, and then go out of their way to make that character SO AWESOME AND SO COOL that the viewers forget about the character that left? Yeah, that's Hannah McKay.  Like most new characters on TV shows, they come in with their own set of tools to get the viewers on their side. When Quinn first came on the scene, he was savvy, mysterious, a bit of a playboy and kinda dirty but good at his job (yes, there was a point in time when Quinn was good at his job). All of these character traits got us to love Quinn, the producers didn't go out of their way to make Quinn THE MAN to make us forget that he was filling in Doakes' spot.

Hannah McKay is another story all together. I say this because the producers REALLY want us to like Hannah, why do I say this? Because every plot thread is driving us towards some Hannah related issue that must be solved otherwise Hannah's going to get caught. Not to mention Dexter raves about Hannah constantly, and she's so down to Earth (not really), not to mention Harrison really likes her, in one of the most offensive lines EVER spoken on Dexter. Everything in last Season and THIS Season is instructing us to like Hannah against our will, but we've never seen a solid reason to like Hannah, and the fact that we're being told to like her just makes us like her less.

She didn't come into the series like Lumen, where we immediately felt sorry for her because of what she's been through. She didn't come into the series like Rita who was this timid woman trying to get her life back together, and she didn't come in the series like Lila, picking Dexter apart. Hannah came into the series with Dexter fumbling like a moron in an attempt to get a cheek swab from her, which Dexter has never done in the past. She can't be the first smokin' hot chick he's got a cheek swab from...he lives in Miami. Our introduction to Hannah was an obvious "HEY CHECK OUT HOW HOT SHE IS!" moment.

I understand there's a pitiful lot of you who simply like Hannah because she's hot. If you want to watch "Dexter" with your penis, you're more than welcomed to do so, but I watch "Dexter" for the character growth, the interesting story-telling, and the complex morality of the character and sadly ALL of that was put on hold when Hannah popped up. I'm not saying I wanna see Dexter kill every single episode, although...for a show about a serial killer...not much killing has been going on lately, and some of the BEST character growth for Dexter was accomplished IN THE KILL ROOM, a place he hasn't been in a LONG time sadly. All of this development is side-lined because Dexter found the perfect woman and we're supposed to be A-Okay with it because Dexter is.

They are so not okay with us being together.

I have no problem with them telling a Dexter in Love story (despite the fact that I'm really tired of them), as long as it's told with a logical progression of the relationship that's believable. And that's not at all present here. Anyways, those are some solid, rational reasons not to like Hannah. Lemme know what you guys think and I'll see you guys next time for "DEXTER-ity: Season Eight"...