Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Pretty Little Liars S05E01 "EscApe From New York" Review

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At this point, I feel like I should be writing something else because to be honest, I'm none too keen on where this season is going and part of me is debating on whether or not I should continue reviewing this. Keep in mind, if I don't review it, I'll probably still watch it (mostly as time consuming filler) I just won't be invested in it enough to sit down and actually write out my thoughts on. Perhaps I could do a season review (but then how would I dig on Aria's constant stupidity or praise Hannah for her awesomeness or marvel at Spencer's hotness whenever she's on the verge of a mental breakdown?). I don't know. Anyways, let's get into this episode and see where we are.

So last season, The Liars managed to track Allison all the way to New York city where they met Allison's operative Noel Kahn and The Queen B herself, Allison DeLaurentis. As fate would have it, Ezra Fitz swooped in, in an attempt to save Allison from (who can I only assume is) "A" and was mortally wounded in the process, leaving viewers to speculate on his fate. Also, Spencer's sister, Melissa would return to drop a bombshell on her father in regards to The girl in Allison's grave and this seems like where this season will be headed (among other places).

As we rejoin The Liars, we find that Ezra has indeed survive, albeit, critically injured and "A" (The T-1000-esque character that (s)he is) hitched a ride to the hospital (literally) on board the ambulance. The Liars devise a plan to use Allison as a decoy to lure "A" out and of course Emily is against this because that'd be putting her messiah in danger. This is a fairly standard season premier to get us through the events of last season, but unfortunately this has way more questions in it than it does answers. Let's address the big one right away, so apparently Shana is "A"...because she fell in love with Jenna and wanted to get revenge for her...(until we find out 2 seasons later that Shana was working for Allison the whole time and is really an ally of the team sadly mistaken for an enemy).

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Seriously?

The reveal of Shana as "A" makes about as much sense as Aria's Dad being "A". For starters, Shana is the character that no one cared about, everything about her was sketchy and her introduction was as Paige's ex-girlfriend who worked at a costume shop...and then somehow Shana was able to transfer over to Emily's school and instantly get a spot on the swim team...(you get the idea). Shana was shady for jump street and never stopped being shady...even when she came with the whole bullsh*t about being Allison's best friend from Georgia and secret accomplice. So we're just supposed to believe that Shana popped up in Rosewood, went to a different school, dated Paige and then all of a sudden took a vested interest in Allison's friend all at the bequest of Allison...yeah...far-fetched doesn't even begin to describe it.

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So what was this about?

While we're on the topic of far-fetched, let's talk about the fact that AT THIS POINT, MONA IS STILL THE ONLY CONFIRMED WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT "A" we know about. I think that's really rather pathetic considering that after 4 seasons we should be further along then back where we started. Okay, not entirely true, for the first time ever, Alison is actually going to become an active member of the cast and as Mona said "This changes everything.". Speaking of the world's cutest sociopath, Mona and her little cabal of nerds was interesting, and it's always great to see Lucas. I doubt Mona's planning to get an "A" Team going but she did offer protection, even to Paige, making the very solid case that Alison's not even back yet and still managed to break her and Emily up.

What's Melissa's whole deal in this? Seriously, unless she's "A" (which I doubt), I could honestly give a rat's a** about who she killed and why. And I suppose that's the tragic reality of this show is that there are so many different and unrelated issues bouncing off the wall that I honestly don't know what I should be caring about. Alison is being threatened by "A", why? Because everyone who has a solid motive to be "A", clearly isn't "A". Melissa (may or may not have) killed someone, why? How about we ask why she put Aria is a f*ckin' box and dangled her outside a train...can we answer that before we get some new questions? I mean it's no big deal, she only tried to murder one of her sister's best friends. That aside, as it turns out Cece Drake isn't "A" either...and ugh...This is what I mean, this is exactly what I mean about this show, "A" either has to be one of The Liars themselves, a character we know, an alien or Alison herself,

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OR OUR FRIEND,THE BARTENDER!

What am I supposed to care about on this show?! I don't care about what's going on anymore because I don't know enough about anything to actually care about anything. Season 4 gave us some nice game changers with Ezra being revealed as "A" (which made perfect sense) and then it was revealed that Ezra was just a run-of-the mill true crimes novelist looking to solve a case to score some Aria tang...*sigh* Really, "Pretty Little Liars", find a narrative and stick to it! Anyways, what we're looking at now is who buried Alison's Mom alive? Why exactly was Shana "A"? Who did Melissa kill? And the question I've been asking, WHEN WILL THIS BE OVER!? I doubt it'll make sense by the very end, but whatever. Until then...*sigh*

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My thoughts exactly...

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