Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Pretty Little Liars S05E05 "Miss Me X 100" Review

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HELLO EVERYONE! Yes, despite popular belief, I haven't stopped doing these and I am back for the appropriately titled "Miss Me X 100". I know I didn't review episodes 3 & 4 and that's because I recently purchased a PS3 and have been playing the hell out of some WWE2K14 & "The Last Of Us" and I wanted to take some time off to see if I wanted to continue doing these, as it turns out, I do. At work, I ran into an employee of ABC Family who told me that this season was going to be different from previous seasons as "A" would be largely absent and the focus would be how do The Liars get along in a world without "A" (which unfortunately means despite my best efforts to deny it, Shana was in fact "A"...my own issues with that will be addressed in a later article...hopefully).

So it looks like the main focus of this season will be the return of Emily's Lord God Allison, who killed Allison's mother and what (who) Melissa did (killed). Still not sure if I'm interested in that (after all, we didn't get answers as to why Melissa and Det. Wilden stuffed Aria in a box and dangled her outside a train) but we'll see where this season takes us and considering "Pretty Little Liars" has been reviewed for a 6th and 7th season already, I doubt "A" will be gone for very long. And with all of that out of the way, let's get to the episode proper.

Before we get into the episode proper, quick recap: Hanna has dyed black streaks in her hair, looks amazing and she's returned to shoplifting (she didn't choose the thug life), Spencer is back to cock teasing her pill-pushing study buddy (I can't remember his name, but I love that guy), Emily's turned Sydney (Chloe Bridges) into her pet project to keep her mind off of her Lord and Savior Allison and her break up with Paige McCullers and Aria's obsessing over having killed Shana, in one of the BEST and creepiest scenes of this series thus far which featured Aria watching Shana's funeral online (which begs the question, who the f*ck posts a funeral online?!).

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This was actually well done and pretty scary.

Mona has amassed an army of misfits to take back the school from Allison, Lucas has resurfaced (YAY!), Jason skipped town (what is this, the 80th time he's done this?). Now that we're up to speed, let's dive in! Let's start off small and work our way to the big deals of this episode. Aria is still seeking to forgive herself for Shana's murder and in a scene that I thought was a LONG time coming, Jenna and Aria sat down for tea to discuss Shana. I can't help but feel for Jenna (yes, I know, I think she's hot and I happen to really like blind people, but that's despite the fact). But I do have to say, Jenna's right for the most part, she has no one left really, Noel Kahn dumped her, Shana's dead (were they dating? I doubt it) and her other boyfriend Garret was killed (by Wilden?). But I've long since said, I don't think Jenna is the enemy here and I like the fact that she's never shown herself to be. I also like the fact that she can be the bigger person.

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Waiting for Aria to do something stupid and she surprises you.

Despite Jenna not being the enemy, it turns out that Jenna and Sydney are working with the world's cutest sociopath, Mona in getting rid of Allison. Mona's army of "losers" is quite effective and she has a smooth and suave Lucas as her heavy. Mona has proven herself a dominate force in the world of high school and I can only imagine what her end game is going to be. I also like the fact that while Lucas is on Mona's side when it comes to Allison, he's still cool with Hanna and so is Mona, to a degree. It looks like Mona isn't focused on The Liars and Sydney and Jenna both confirmed that The Liars don't want things to return to how they were when Allison ruled "the world". While we're on the topic, CAN WE STOP INTRODUCING NEW CHARACTERS! The VERY SECOND a new character is introduced we automatically know NOT TO TRUST THEM! THIS IS GETTING OLD!

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Shut up, Chloe Bridges, no one trusts you!

Moving right along, The Hastings Family is breaking up, which is a LONG TIME coming (right now, the only person who still has their family is Emily...weird). While I don't believe that Mr. Hasting & Melissa killed Allison's Mom, I do believe that Melissa may have killed Bethany Young (the girl found in Allison grave). I'd like to think that the police would've been more on top of things with dental records and all but if their Detectives are dangling girls outside of trains and making out with high school girls (looking at you Det. Holbrook) then I'm sure they wouldn't have spent time doing their jobs.

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HOLY SH*T, THE POLICE ARE ACTUALLY DOING THEIR JOBS?! WHA?!

Caleb has returned and Hanna got sloshed. Hanna's a hilarious drunk. That being said, Caleb didn't share any details about his time in Ravenswood, only lying to Hanna about Miranda being dead...and I can't remember if he told her or not and I can't be bothered to go and check, but something tells me he didn't. I'm hoping these two get back together, while I warmed up to Travis, it's nice having Caleb back and let's face it, Caleb is just as thug as Hanna is. And maybe with Caleb back Hanna won't be shoplifting, ALSO Caleb and Lucas can rekindle their friendship. Also, it'll be pretty cool to see Caleb finally meeting The Woman, The Myth, The Legend, Allison DeLaurentis. This episode could've used more Caleb, but now that he's back, more Caleb is promised down the line. Looking forward to it. While I love Spencer & Toby, Caleb & Hanna are my favorite couple.

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That show sucked, Hanna. That's why I came back.

Speaking of couples, Aria and Ezra are back together, who knew battle scars were an aphrodisiac? And I'm 100% sure Emily and Allison got down that night as well, and much like Hanna, I was asking "Are they together now?", which would be AWESOME because the conflict it would set up between Emily and Paige would be delicious. Speaking of conflict, the little Smackdown between Allison & Mona in the church was pretty awesome as well, all that was missing was baby oil, bikinis, an inflatable tub and a few guys tossing hundred dollar bills around (mind in the gutter but I couldn't have been the only person thinking that...and I don't even think Allison's hot).

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Bitch said, what ?!

Getting my mind out of the gutter, I can only imagine where this season is going since this episode ended with our ol' buddy "A" is still lurking around. Damnit, just this once I'd like to see what goes on behind the scenes with "A". In the previous season when we saw Ezra's bunker and apartment, I was CERTAIN we were getting a glimpse into "A's" network, but NOPE! Which makes me wonder what kinda network Shana had...especially after that crap she pulled in the playground with the multiple "A's" in New York (just how in the hell did she do that and just how in the hell was she THAT forward thinking?). While this season is different now that Allison's back, it really does nothing to alter the status quo in terms of content. I'm hoping Seasons 6 & 7 give us a look on the dark side, because I'm a little tired of NOT knowing who "A" is...and No, I don't believe it was Shana...(despite all signs pointing to her...wait, no signs pointed to her!). I'm not even sure what questions I should ask and are worth asking, I just want answers...and I'm not even sure for what now. This is crazy. I'll see you guys next time.

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