Friday, January 23, 2015

Pretty Little Liars S05E16 "Over A Barrel" Review

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Well kids and kittens here we are once again, for those of you outside the know let me give you all a quick summary of the goings-on here in The Strangeverse. So I lost my job, packed up my entirely life and moved to Washington (the state...not D.C....never D.C....) to be with the love of my life, and I've been here since the end of November, where I'm currently staying internet is unavailable with the exception of an unsecure network that I am currently using right now. In the time between here and now my primary use of the internet has been mostly job searching and the (tedious but necessary task of) filling out applications.

Suffice it to say, "Pretty Little Liars" has been the furthest thing from my mind, and considering I already had my fair share of problems with this season (that I addressed HERE, please read if you haven't) I was none too keen on whether or not I'd continue reviewing this series and have have added "Gotham" to fill in the cracks should I cease reviewing "Pretty Little Liars". But as fate would have it, My Boss from my "Other Life" hit me up via text message and after asking her "WHO HIRED YOU?!" (inside joke) told me she missed talking to me about "Pretty Little Liars". Well this lit a fire under me to hurry up and get caught up, which wasn't difficult considering only a few episodes had passed since my move.

Since "Pretty Little Liars" has been on break, it has been announced that Season 7 will be the final season of the series. Now that I know there are only 2 seasons left in the chamber I can rest comfortably somewhat that there will be some kind of resolution to this insane melodrama of lies on top lies wrapped in more lies, dipped in lies and deep fried in lies and served with a side of lies (seriously, the lies are out of control). So with all of that out of the way, let's get to it and see what we see (which is never much...but...then again that's to be expected...);

First of all, I think it might be appropriate to revisit my reaction to the episode before "Pretty Little Liars" went on break;
"THEY KILLED MY MONA!!"
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As I said before, "Something balls crazy has to happen in the summer finale"...and it did...unfortunately that had to be the death of my favorite character and the world's cutest sociopath Mona Vanderwaal. Needless to say, I am not happy about this. But it's good for a series to off a character we've gotten to know and care about instead of characters like Det. Darren Wilson and Maya St. Germaine (and for the record, I actually like Darren Wilson...at least he was good at his job, crooked as he maybe...unlike Det. Brainless (Tanner) & Det. Hard-On (Holbrook). I know this was a way to get Janel Parrish off the show so she could be on "Dancing With The Stars" but couldn't you achieve the same effect with a coma? They didn't have to kill my Mona!

A death of this magnitude should have been epic, unfortunately, it's not...not so much. While Hanna a.k.a "Thug Life" Marrin is taking it the worst, the other liars (having not known Mona that well and subsequently hating her for being "A") aren't exactly mourned by the news but never the less disturbed that Allison killed her. Here's the gotcha, ALLISON DIDN'T KILL MONA and "A" IS STILL ON THE LOOSE! That's where we are, and now Allison is sporting a new orange jumpsuit and will probably be spotted on a few episodes of "Orange Is The New Black". Allison's in jail, Spencer beat her murder rep, Toby's a cop, Ezra owns The Brew (the f*ck did that happen?) and Aria can't get into college (no surprises there). Now that I'm caught up, let's get to the review proper;

The Liars are under the impression that Holbrook is Allison's accomplice...just because they made out, but if everyone who made out on this show were in fact working together this show would make less sense than it already does (if that's at all possible). Speaking of making out, Ted is planning to marry Ashley "O.G." Marrin and considering her and Jason did the aforementioned deed of making of the out, this could lead to a more than awkward issue. The Marrins continue to be my favorite family and characters in this series, mostly because of the strong relationship they have and the fact that Hanna can recognize good people when she sees them (ie, Caleb, Mona, Lucas, ect. ect.) (and I like them for the fact that they're gangsta rappers secretly masquerading as suburban White folk.)

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So hood right now...

This new guy, Johnny...I'm wondering how long it'll take before this guy becomes important. Seems like all the one shot characters revolve around Spencer, I mean Dean Stavros (going out like a champ and passing out on Spencer's ass, well done) and now this guy, who seemed moderately interested in Toby being a police officer. Apparently, this new douche bag is an artist, painter, I believe that like I believe anything on this show, dimes to dollars he's running some kind drug lab (*insert "Breaking Bad" Joke here*) in Spencer's backyard...it's always drugs with Spencer.

Meanwhile, Emily is exorcising her "I miss my lesbian lover and my God betrayed me!" demons on Talia, who's actually quite nice and apparently a good cook (and can't stop talking about cooking...and now I'm hungry). Knowing this show, she'll more than likely be some agent of Allison's to spy on the girls...or Emily's new girlfriend...funny how she always starts off hating them before making out with them (why am I talking about making out so much?). Obviously that little moment of her checking out Ezra wasn't so much her checking out Ezra than seeing if Emily was into guys, you could tell by the way she was looking at Emily the entire time while commenting on Ezra's butt.

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I know you don't like me but we'll totally be making out in about 2 episodes.

Team Spencer & Caleb manage to find Mona's laptop and bloody clothes at a storage space, maybe owned by Holbrook, maybe owned by Allison (probably not), Knowing this show it's probably some other character's storage space with completely innocent purposes. However the barrel suggests that Mona may have been given The Heisenberg Special (ie, getting stuffed in a barrel and turned into a smoothie). They're running into the same issue they always do and that's jumping to conclusions (which should be the name of the show). Just for craps and giggles, The Liars should do a tally of all of their assumptions that actually panned out to be true (there aren't many). You can't say they were right about Mona because Spencer stumbled upon Mona being "A", they never suspected her. They suspected everyone and their mothers...but not ONE solid assumption panned out to be true, and now all of a sudden Spencer (who's supposed to be the smart one) is trying to tie Holbrook to the storage space.

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Liquid Mona

The conclusion of this episode leads me to believe that Mona left a major back-up plan for her one true friend Hanna Marrin. Not sure what this back-up plan will lead to because Mona thought Allison was "A" and if the stuff at the storage container leads to Allison being "A" and we know for a fact that Allison isn't "A" this whole thing will turn into a giant goose egg. That's basically what I'm afraid of, this entire series turning into a much larger "WHAT?" than it already is, but with a light at the end of the tunnel, I am hoping and praying the writers consolidate some of these mysteries into one mystery, WHO THE F*CK IS "A" AND WHY?! That's all I have to say, good to be sort of back.

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