Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Pretty Little Liars S04E23 "Unbridled" Review

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Jason's back, Dean is gone, Ezra's not "A", Spencer MAY have killed someone, Aria's Mom is engaged, Mrs. DeLaurentis is a psycho bitch, Mona's hot (she wasn't in the episode but I'd like to state for the record that Mona's hot) and Allison's in trouble! Lots of ground to cover, let's get to it!

Last week I made it clear that I was none too thrilled with Mrs. DeLaurentis possibly being "A", it'd seem very childish for an adult to stoop to such childish behavior such as texting threats and sabotaging teenage girls every minute of being happy...but then I'm reminded of Meredith and well...logic pretty much goes out the window. However, I'm still disappointed in this new direction BUT for ONCE the police, specifically Det. Holbrook (...because Det. Tanner is an absolute moron) is asking the question "If Allison's alive, then who's in her grave?" Who indeed? Possibly the woman Spencer may have killed?

Speaking of Spencer it looks like thanks to Dean she's got her mojo back...which is unfortunate because she's so much more entertaining (not to mention hot...shut up I have issues) when she's crazy, but not all of her marbles are working for and the holes in her memory is revealing a much darker side the Young Ms. Hastings we haven't seen since Season 3. Also, I'm psychic sense was tingling as I accurately predicted that Dean Stavros would be a one episode character and I have to give the guy credit for going out the best way possible! Falling asleep on Spencer's ass, not a bad place to be.

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Oh Mighty Spencer's Ass, tell me your secrets.

That being said it's hard to believe that Spencer is the prime target for Mrs. DeLaurentis (if she in fact "A") because as I've said before there are obviously several "A's" and if they're not working in tandem then it's just random people with an axe to grind with Allison and her friends taking up the mantle of "A". In order for this to work THERE NEEDS TO BE SOME KIND OF NETWORK! The ONLY known "A's" are Mona and Cece Drake...and I'm starting to wonder if they were even aware of each other...which just raises more questions...damnit! Why couldn't Ezra be "A"!? I'm still holding out hope that he is...but I'm not holding my breath. Speaking of Ezra, I'm 85% sure Ezra is the one who arrived at the end of the episode...again, not holding my breath but it makes logical sense...unless it's Jenna Marshall...someone else we haven't seen in awhile...see what I did there? Seen...huh...huh?...Oh shut up.

Hanna is once again proving herself to be the most well adjusted member of the team as Aria's stupidity just gets more and more glaring with each passing moment and I have to say it's finally nice to have someone call her out on her bullsh*t even if it was her mother (who is just as stupid as she is). But in all seriousness, I get that Aria wants to lash out because Ezra's a liar but I thought she already did that with "Not Macklemore" on the college campus and when she basically banished Ezra to the ends of the earth. Whatever the case maybe, Aria was the one who basically rushed her mom out of town so...her "explosion" was just awkward and really lame. Speaking of Hanna, Hanna's Mom, Ashley a.k.a "Thug Life" is proving she's just as smart and crafty as her daughter, sneaking a peek at clothes that CLEARLY don't fit Mrs. DeLaurentis in Allison's room that were purchased yesterday. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what means. Let's face it people, The Marrins are owning everyone in this show.

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We run this shit, Hanna.

Speaking of getting owned (I'm saying "speaking of" a lot in this review), High Priestess of The Cult Of Allison, Emily Fields has officially ended things with Paige...I'd say I'm upset but honestly they NEVER worked together and never will...not while Emily is still loyal to the Gospel according to Allison. Paige was absolutely right in what she said, "Let the police protect her!", and when Emily said "What if they don't get there in time?" the logical response would be "And what exactly are you gonna do?". I understand that Emily needs her blonde, hell-bitch savior Allison BUT The Liars have proven themselves incapable of actually helping the situation...Hell, they can barely protect themselves. So no, I'm with Paige on this one and considering in the past few seasons Emily has had a car driven through her house, was almost sawed in half, was poisoned and was almost suffocated so Paige has every right to be worried about her.

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All Praise Be To Allison!

Anyway, it's all about to come to a head with the finale "A Is For Answers" and we'd better get some, damnit! I'm honestly at a loss for what EXACTLY is going to happen next, but if I had to venture a guess, I suppose Allison is gonna tell them who's in her grave and who is after her and it'll probably be no one we expect because that's how this show tends to go. At this point I'm not even sure what questions NEED to be asked because all the seemingly logical ones seem to just fall to the wayside. However, the most constant questions are "Who is after Allison?" and "Who is in her grave?". If we don't get the answer to ONE of those questions in a somewhat definitive form...well then I just may part ways with this show after the finale. I hate saying that because it's been one hell of a ride, but c'mon, Season 5's gotta be the swan song. Here's to hoping and not holding our breath! Until then, see you next work.

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